Hunter's Myth
by xVenusRosex
Summary: There's a saying in the hunting community that no one ever truly leaves the life to be a normal person. Sam is determined to prove that wrong, yet is still caught in the hunting loop alongside his brother. When a witch casts a love spell on Dean, they find out nothing about their lives will ever be quite normal. Even when trying to be "normal". Warning:Mpreg/Wincest
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: Wincest. Mpreg. And all that. Crackfic.  
**

 **Disclaimer: I realize I've changed much of the storyline for season 8, but I kinda had no choice if I was gonna make them...do other stuff. I'm a huge fan of the show and everything, and I hope when the show ends they either die together or find some happiness, but I had to take a crack at Wincest. Half of this fic probably doesn't make any sense. Also, I don't own Supernatural.**

* * *

Sam closed the laptop and ran a hand through his hair. They both sat there quietly for what felt like far too long, staring at the blank screen. The video, or movie rather, they'd just witnessed was a little unsettling to say the least. It was one thing to hunt werewolves, but to see the process of it happening was another thing entirely. They felt bad for those kids. They were college students one moment, then trapped in a paranormal dilemma the next.

Looking behind him slightly, Sam's eyes narrowed worriedly. "Hey, you alright?"

Dean's face was blank. His green eyes glanced from the two covered bodies laying on the floor to the wall ahead. He nodded, a subtle 'mhmm' reverberating in his chest.

"You sure?"

"Mhmm."

The brunette's leg began bouncing anxiously as he sighed, again running a hand through his hair. Dean noticed that immediately, a frown creasing his face. It was one of his brother's habits whenever he was frustrated yet refused to speak to him.

"C'mon, Sam. What gives? It upset you that much?" Dean murmured gruffly.

Sam's lips tightened as he gave his older brother the most steady, mean glare he could give. He never broke eye contact as he stood from the chair, folding his arms tightly across his broad chest. Dean had changed obviously since returning from Purgatory, but so far he hadn't been liking any of these changes. His brother had been proud of being a hunter before, but now he seemed obsessed. Even in the past, Dean had admitted to being tired of it at times, and had even attempted to go live a normal life with Lisa and Ben.

Now, he was consumed by hunting. It was all he talked about now to the point where it induced eye-rolling and sighing from the younger man. Sam was still furious that Dean was so pressed about him taking a break during that year he'd been gone. He wanted to make the older hunter understand that living a normal life wasn't so bad – in fact, maybe it was better in some ways. They'd been hunting nonstop the past eight years. At least during their childhood, John had taken the bulk of the hunts. It hadn't been pleasant, but Sam survived.

But these days, Dean was beginning to exhaust him. He just didn't want to hunt anymore, plain and simple.

"Sam?" Dean questioned when he remained silent.

The brunette sighed through his nose, shrugging. "It's nothing. Let's pack up and get outta here." He said calmly.

"You always do that. You get mad, then five seconds later you're supposedly fine. You seem to like chick flick moments so much, so…talk." Dean insisted, folding his arms as he leaned against the wall casually.

"I only do that because you're so…it's impossible to say anything to you, Dean. You get pissed pretty easy. What am I supposed to say?" The younger man raised a brow.

Dean's eyes narrowed slightly, his jaw tensing. "Are you still on about this whole 'live a normal life' thing?"

"Yes, Dean. I don't regret that year I took off, I told you that. It was nice, I had a girlfriend and a home. It felt good." He threw his clothes into his bag with more force than necessary, not glancing at the other man.

The older man only scoffed, his way of refuting the other's words. "Whatever, Sam. We're hunters. Like I've said too many times, nothing can change that."

Sam sighed heavily. "Did you hear what that kid said on the tape, Dean?"

Dean was disarmed, confusion written all over his features. "They said a lot of crap. What the hell is your point, anyway?"

"Workplace romance. Michael said that…twice." Sam said tightly.

"It was a joke, Samantha."

The younger of the two gave him a look, a sharp humorless expression that made Dean smirk. It was way too easy to press his buttons. They both had a temper, truth be told.

"Look, it's not just about what he said, it about what it implies." Sam's tone took on that intellectual, logical inflection that Dean couldn't stand whatsoever. "People have mistaken us as lovers more than once. We spend too much time together, family or not. We've been by each other's side for almost a decade now, leading where exactly? It's neverending and I'm tired."

Dean squinted at him. His nose rose a little as he studied him for a moment, tilting his head. "I see."

Short answers were bad coming from the normally talkative man, so Sam hurriedly added, "Look, you love hunting-!"

"And you don't?"

Sam only looked at him pointedly, like he should know the answer. "I enjoy helping people, but not like this. Not anymore, I don't think I ever did. I only continued to hunt because you came back for me. Because dad was missing."

"Seriously? You're telling me you would've stayed at Stanford if none of that happened. If Jess never died." It was more of a statement and Sam could only nod, causing Dean to laugh lowly. "Wow, so I guess you really don't give a damn about our family."

Normally, Sam was a calm and rational person, but the older man was really starting to piss him off. In an uncharacteristic show of anger, he walked up to him and slammed a fist next to where his head rested against the wall. Dean only looked at him with wide eyes, wondering what the hell was up with him.

"Idiot." He whispered, shaking his head. "I do care, that's why I went with you in the first place. I've given this my all the past eight years, I've lost my soul at one point, and nearly died more times that I can count. And you…you've sacrificed a lot too. Don't you think you deserve happiness too, Dean?"

The older man stared at him for a few moments with confusion. His wide, green eyes searched his as though trying to grasp a complex theory. Finally, he pushed him off and shrugged a bit.

"This ain't about happiness, I kinda doubt it really exists. I do know that hunting is our life and it's what we're supposed to be doing. It's our job and I'll be damned if I quit." He insisted evenly, though his heart was pounding in his ears. Sam was scaring him now—he wasn't usually this adamant. It reminded him of their father eerily. John never had a problem putting his foot down and he could see him in Sam now.

"Bobby wouldn't have wanted this for us. He would want us to get out of hunting. Hell, he's told us that before he died." Sam murmured quietly.

"I know, but there's no getting out. Again, I've said that before." Dean replied tightly. "Look, you can try to quit. I won't stop you, but we're better as a team and you know it. No hunter ever really leaves to live a normal life. It comes back to reel you back in eventually, just a matter of time."

"I don't think so." Sam disagreed easily, a bit too casually for his taste. "I was doing fine that year you were gone. Nothing pulled me back into hunting. I mean, I missed you…but things were normal for once."

"Right." Dean's smile didn't reach his eyes as he turned away from him suddenly. "So, what, you gonna go back to college now? Become a lawyer?"

"Maybe. I finished pre-law." The air became awkward. Sam shifted nervously, the anger suddenly gone.

Somehow, Dean almost managed to make him feel a little guilty. It was probably why he couldn't leave him. As much anger and confidence as the older man exuded, a big part of him was innocent and vulnerable. And very codependent with low self-esteem at that. Dean was a walking, living contradiction.

Dean deserved better. They both did.

"You could live normally too, you know. You're great with cars…you could be a mechanic."

"I guess so. You make it sound easy." Dean muttered, almost amusedly if he didn't know any better.

Sam sighed, grabbing an arm. Green eyes met his. "Let's grab something to eat, okay? We should cool down a little."

"And then you're leaving."

Sam grimaced. "No, not yet. I'm just frustrated, okay? Maybe you're right, maybe I'll always be a hunter. I seem to end up back with you somehow anyway."

"You make it sound bad."

"It's not all bad." Sam grinned a bit.

Dean's lips twitched but eventually he smirked. "Let's just get going."

Sam watched him pack up, a heavy sigh escaping him as he grabbed his things and closed the door behind them a few minutes later.

o

It was pouring rain by the time they got into the restaurant. It was a burger joint, of course. Sam usually conceded to his brother's tastes. Besides, most places had some form of salad or soup. Dean always teased him for what he chose to eat, always stating a guy like him needed burgers more than he did.

"How does that even fill you up?" Dean mumbled around a mouthful of beef and delicious bacon. He watched him eat his salad with a hint of disgust.

"It's somewhat healthy and isn't a heart attack on a bun. You're gonna need to slow down on those soon enough. You're not getting any younger." Sam replied, digging his fork into the lettuce and pausing for a moment as he noticed the older man glower at him heavily. "What? It's the truth."

"I'm still in my early thirties. I ain't that old…yet." He mumbled, dousing more ketchup than necessary on his fries.

"Mid thirties." Sam corrected with a hint of a grin.

"Whatever. I look good for my age."

"Yeah, but still."

Dean took a long swig of his beer. "Dude, we're hunters. I'm not concerned about my health considering we're probably not gonna reach old age anyway."

Judging from Sam's reaction, that was a mistake to say that aloud. The younger man nodded, pushing his plate away as he suddenly had no desire to eat. Those words brought him back to their conversation earlier that day. He tried to remain calm, but frustration coursed through him again. Hot anger burned in his veins, a feeling he didn't care for.

"Excuse me. I'm gonna wait outside, you can finish your meal." He said suddenly, tossing some cash onto the table to cover his half.

"Seriously, Sam?"

He ignored him, walking outside briskly with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. Walking towards the Impala, he looked up at the sky briefly as his thoughts turned to Amelia again. Part of him considered just hitchhiking or taking the bus back to her, to leave Dean and his crazy self behind. But he knew he couldn't do that, not yet. His brother had recently returned from Purgatory and honestly, he couldn't leave the hunter while he was like this. Dean wasn't really himself. Not to mention, Cas was still missing.

"Why is my life like this?" Sam wondered aloud, not realizing someone was listening to him. "I just wanted to go to college, become a lawyer, make a home with a good woman. Maybe a couple kids. That's all."

She stood in the parking lot, pretending to fumble with her car keys at first, then pretended to be interested in her cell as her sharp brown eyes flickered over towards him. Maya was a witch, although not a very good one. She was still brushing up on her skills and used any opportunity to improve her powers. Most times, this included using spells on unsuspecting people. It usually turned out for the best, as she considered herself a benevolent person. She never used spells for harm, only for good. Or at least, she tried. Sometimes the spells went haywire, causing her to leave town before anyone traced it to her.

Usually witches were in a coven, but she traveled alone. Which made it even more imperative that she steer clear of any hunters.

And here one was, just her luck. Maya observed him as he began muttered incoherently to himself. That man was Sam Winchester, meaning Dean couldn't be too far. Those two were infamous with darker creatures. They knew to stay clear of those two unless they wanted trouble or were very, very stupid.

She gasped, watching as Dean walked out of the restaurant looking highly annoyed. He joined his brother and she fell back, eavesdropping on their conversation.

"If you wanna leave, do it. I don't have time for all your drama, Sam." Dean muttered.

"No, because you're selfish. You have no idea how to compromise." Sam argued back.

"I'm selfish? Funny coming from you. Mister 'I'm gonna run off to Stanford'."

"Wow, are you ever gonna let that go? That was ten years ago!"

"So?"

Sam placed both hands in his hair, before sliding them down his face and rubbing his temples. "You're so irritating sometimes."

"Thank you." Dean's smile was smug and sarcastic.

"You know what? I think I will leave. I want to find Kevin and the tablet, but-!"

"Then go!" Dean shouted angrily, not amused anymore. "Go and live a regular life. You're right, we have been at each other's sides a long time. Maybe it's better we part ways now."

"Wait…you're agreeing. This is surprising." Sam looked skeptical, eyeing his brother like he'd been possessed. Hell, he might've been.

Dean rolled his eyes heavily. "I have way too much crap to worry about. Kevin, Crowley, the goddamn tablet, the demons…you. It's just a lot. I don't know, man."

"That's just it. We're getting too old for this, Dean. We're worried about things that other – younger –hunters can take care of. Do you know what I learned taking that year off?"

"What?"

"We're not the only ones who can stop evil creatures or save the world from god knows what. If we stop, it wouldn't be so bad. We could be normal. Go on vacations, even." Sam insisted.

"Vegas sounds nice." Dean shrugged, looking away from him.

"We always go to Vegas. Our annual Vegas week, remember?"

"Don't remind me. I'm getting weird Becky flashbacks." Dean shuddered. "I still can't believe she tried to marry you last time. Nice girl, but she's kinda creepy, huh?"

"Well..." Sam didn't really want to badmouth her, plus there were more important things to think about, "Look, what do you say? Let's try it. One month."

"No hunting?"

"No hunting."

Maya's head tilted, her gaze intrigued. She could read people's auras very easily and it amazed her how different the two were. For brothers, they couldn't be more dissimilar. From their looks to their true wants and dislikes, it was kind of amusing in a way. She looked at the older one – Maya could feel his fatigue, self-hatred, and stress buried under his vengeance and thirst for excitement. Then she glanced at the taller one, whose aura was so warm and calm, but it was heavy from the weight of living a life he really didn't choose nor want.

They were both miserable, in different ways. That was only thing they seemed to have in common.

"Hmm.." Her eyes glowed with interest. Perhaps she could help them in some manner.

As such was her power, all she needed to do was touch something of theirs to activate the spell. Coincidentally, she had learned this method from tarot readers. But instead of pulling cards, she was able to place a spell directly on them. Much more effective and took less time than conjuring a spell up the usual way. It was why she worked alone.

Maya glanced up thoughtfully, biting her lip. She wasn't sure what kind of spell would help though. A peace spell, perhaps. Love spell, no. She remembered from reading Sam's aura and thoughts that he had a girlfriend named Amelia not long ago. Maybe she could reunite them somehow. Her eyes flashed a little as an idea came to her. It was risky and would change people's lives, so perhaps it was better not to. It was naïve to think a baby would bring them closer, as that wasn't always the case. She knew that. Besides, she had nothing of Amelia's.

Still, she needed to think of something fast. If the Winchesters were separated and out of the picture, that meant good news for any and all supernatural creatures. Not that she was personally worried about them, but she knew many that were.

"Hey, you!" Dean's voice startled her.

He walked up to her while she casually brushed some dark brown hair behind her ear. "Yes?" Maya kept her tone innocent.

"You've been watching us. Not very good at hiding either." Dean snapped. "Crowley send you? Are you a demon?" He tossed a vial of holy water on her, the girl gasping and looking down at her wet top incredulously.

Maya looked up at them disbelievingly, her hands raised as though surrendering.

"Not a demon." Dean decided.

"Whoa, Dean…geez." Sam shoved him back, unnerved by this new mindset of his. Whatever happened while he was gone, had made him more aggressive than usual. "Sorry, he's under a lot of stress."

"No problem." The girl muttered, wiping her hands on her jeans. "It's just, you two look familiar."

"Oh, you probably mean the killers you saw on the news awhile back? We happen to look a lot like them, I can assure you those two are dead." Sam explained.

"Why were you eavesdropping, hm?"

"Dean." Sam gave him a sharp look.

"It's okay. He's right, I was listening to you two. I was waiting for someone out here and got bored I guess. Sorry." She avoided eye contact, making them a little suspicious but she seemed like a regular girl.

"It's all good. Sorry for getting in your face." Dean muttered.

Maya nodded, her hand subtly glowing as she prepared to place the fertility love spell on Sam, the spell that would make him go back to his girlfriend without fail and start a family together. Her shoelace got caught under her as she walked forward, tripping as she reached out and grabbing the sleeve of Dean's leather jacket. He stared at her incredulously as he began glowing brightly. Maya looked horrified. Sam stepped back, about to rip her away from his brother but she stopped only moments later with a look of shock plastered on her face. Her cheeks burned red.

" Oh, I'm…I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. Forgive me." Maya said sincerely, before vanishing into thin air.

They stood there in silence and gazed at each other with wide, confused eyes. Dean's mouth fell open, a hand raised in a questioning stance. Sam looked at the pavement below, shaking his head. Just when he thought their life couldn't get more weird or stressful. He was always proved wrong.

"What the hell just happened?"

"Are you okay?" The younger man asked seriously, assessing him carefully. "How do you feel?"

"A woman just touched me, which would normally be a good thing except she's a goddamn witch! So no, I'm not okay. I knew something was weird about that chick." Dean began pacing, kicking at random stones on the ground.

"She seemed harmless though." Sam noticed. "I don't think it's a curse or anything."

"You know what? I don't even care." Dean figured.

"You don't care if you live or die? Whatever she did, it might be terrible and-!"

"I just wanna find Kevin and the tablet. If I die before then, hopefully you'll keep going in my place."

Dean moved to get in the car, turning the radio on loudly. Sam sighed as he usually did, before slipping into the passenger seat and looking at his brother calculatingly. He seemed fine, but it didn't hurt to check it out.

"Before we continue looking, we should find someone who can determine what kind of spell she placed on you." Sam insisted.

"Nah, I'm fine."

"Okay, but if something happens, don't be surprised about it." Sam shrugged, smiling as he stared out the window instead.

"Whatever."


	2. Chapter 2

**Again, timeline/cases have been switched around for sake of storyline. Sorry if it's confusing lol.  
**

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Dean felt odd. Normally, he felt horny at times, usually at night when it was dark and quiet. Not like this. He was hot and almost delirious with lust twenty four hours. It was hard to hide from Sam and yes, pun intended.

As he finished his most recent bout of self-pleasure, he sat there feeling foolish. It wasn't that he minded pleasing himself, but not this often. It was getting ridiculous. And it was beginning to interfere with his work. He heard the door begin to open, leaping up to cover himself with a sheet. Sam's eyebrows rose a little, laughing as he watched him grab his clothes and run into the bathroom.

"You couldn't have done that in there in the first place?"

"I didn't think you'd be back this soon, okay?"

The younger man scoffed mirthfully, sitting down on a nearby chair as he set their dinner on the small table the motel provided. He noticed his brother had been acting funny recently. Dean still refused to see someone about the spell.

o

A week later he felt fine. By the time they had argued some more about Kevin and Dean had helped Benny out, things had gone back to normal seemingly. His increased libido was gone.

Yet, Sam found himself feeling different now. He wasn't as annoyed by Dean anymore and was slowly getting back into the swing of hunting. He still missed his former life, but it had only lasted a year so he supposed it was time to let it go. After all, each time the two attempted to live normally, something brought them back together without fail.

The brunette knocked on the bathroom door. "You ready to go? I think I've found us another case."

When it was silent, he added, "I know it's not about Kevin, but I think you'd be interested and it sounds like our kinda thing."

"Go without me."

Well, that was not was he was expecting. Especially from the hunt obsessed man who had recently had to survive everyday in Purgatory.

"Are you sick?"

The door opened, with Dean dressed in a towel. His hair was flat and slick, still wet from his recent shower. It looked like he'd just shaven too. Sam felt a weird sensation suddenly, not sure he liked it. Ever since that woman had touched Dean, he'd noticed things about him that he had ignored before. Small things—the way his eyes changed from light to dark green depending on the lighting, the funny way his eyes would crinkle when he was amused, the fullness of his lips.

Sam swallowed heavily, stopping himself right the hell there. Those were things he shouldn't be ever thinking about in regards to his kin. Dean was attractive and got a lot of attention for his looks. But he was not attracted to him. It was abhorrent for one thing, disturbing on another level. This was his brother.

"I think you're right. Hamburgers are catching up to me. Stomach's feeling funny." Dean said casually.

"Too much information."

"Well, you asked."

"Fair enough. I'm gonna go then, I'll check on you later."

"Wait. I'll go. I think I can manage. I've dealt with worse things than a stomachache."

"Cool. Let's go."

o

After their most recent hunt, the two stood drinking beer as they leaned onto the Impala. The silence was comfortable this time as they enjoyed their drinks outside. Sam looked over at the older man again. He usually did that, but found himself glancing at Dean far too often lately.

"What?" He snapped.

"Nothing. The view's nice." Sam looked at the forest, at the changing autumn leaves. Red, orange, and yellow blended together vibrantly and signaled that fall was here again.

"Yeah, it is."

Sam looked at him confusedly. Normally, Dean would mock him for admiring nature like a chick, or some other similar remark. Or he'd call him Samantha, whatever worked.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you feeling well?"

"Are you my doctor? Lay off." He retorted, finishing off his beer.

"I think-!"

"That's your problem, Sam. You think too much." He scoffed.

"I'm just concerned."

Dean turned to look at him seriously, frowning a bit. "Thanks, but I'm fine. We should probably continue to track Kevin's location."

o

They did just that, mainly because of another witch named Delta who'd doublecrossed Mrs. Tran. She had called them frantically after Crowley had taken Kevin. Soon enough, they'd found him and the rest was history.

It had led them to first joining a case with Garth, followed by Cas who had somehow managed to escape from Purgatory. Then they had gone on to do a case involving live action role playing and joining a case with their grandfather Henry. So far, the angel himself wouldn't speak much about his time in Purgatory. He had only divulged to Dean that he had wanted to stay there, that he blamed himself for everything that happened with the Leviathans, and that Dean shouldn't blame himself.

"You're not responsible for everything." Cas' sharp words echoed in his head. "And you're not a failure, Dean. I stayed behind because I wanted to, I felt like I needed to be punished…perhaps you're not remembering things correctly, only as you wish to see them."

And so the angel had placed a hand to his forehead and showed him the true events of what went on as they were going through the portal. When the he saw the truth, he still felt awful about it.

Dean couldn't help himself. He'd taken on the role of mother, brother, and caretaker from a young age after his mom had passed away. He just wanted things to be okay, to keep people safe, to take care of them. That's what a good caretaker did. If he couldn't do that, he felt like a failure.

As they closed up the latest case, which had quite literally been looney and cartoon-like, they headed back to the motel. It had been just like an episode of Bugs Bunny. Only worse, because people had actually died. It left Dean feeling exhausted and wondering if maybe Sam had a point. They probably were getting too old for this crap.

"What's the matter?" Sam asked as he noticed Dean staring out of the window for too long. He looked deep in thought.

"I think now that I'm used to being back here, I'm finally starting to realize that I'm real tired of this." Dean murmured. "I hate to admit it, but you might have been right."

Sam's eyes widened as he walked over to him and felt his forehead. Dean pulled back, scowling as shoved his hand off. The taller man looked at him still like he was an alien which made him frown deeply.

"What, Sammy? I'm admitting you're right. You should be glad."

"Yeah…"

Dean's brow rose. "So, go back to Amelia. I'm sure she misses you. Cas and I can handle things. And Garth too, I guess."

Sam's jaw tensed as he shook his head quickly.

"There's things I didn't tell you about her. If I really thought I stood a chance at being happy with her longterm, I'd be gone by now. After making sure you were okay, of course." Sam said, shrugging.

"What happened?"

"Her father is what happened." Sam ran a hand through his hair, sitting down on the bed suddenly. He purposefully left Amelia's husband out of the details for now, not wanting to think about him. "He did not like me whatsoever. Reluctantly accepted me, actually. Only because Amelia had to beg him. He was gonna take her back home with him."

"Wow."

"I loved her, but at the same time I'm not sure we had much in common other than the fact that we were both drifters and had just lost somebody we loved." Sam seemed to realize his mistake, shooting up from the bed with a grin, "I mean, for me, it was obviously in a brotherly-!"

"Don't. I get it." Dean smirked, holding a hand up hastily. "No need to explain."

"When I meant love, I meant-!"

"As a brother. Please stop saying things now."

"Sorry. Look, Dean, it's just…I'm totally fine now. I don't like hunting, but at the same time I think the chance to live a normal life has passed by already and I should just accept it."

"Why do you think that? You're still young-ish. Go finish law school. Reconcile with Amelia. Be happy, Sam." Dean insisted. "Cas and I have the hunting thing covered."

"Sure, I'll leave." Sam nodded, smiling almost wistfully as he shoved his hands into his pockets, "But something will lead me back to you eventually. Always happens."

"God, you make us sound like soulmates, Samantha." Dean sighed heavily, shaking his head as he cracked open a beer.

"Shut up, Dean. I'm trying to be serious."

"So, you're staying?"

"May as well. If I'm meant to be with Amelia, it'll happen somehow."

"You believe in that destiny crap?"

"Sort of." Sam shrugged. "After everything we've hunted, destiny isn't farfetched."

"True. I didn't think aliens or fairies were real either, but…" Dean frowned, trying to rid of those memories as they rushed back to him, "Ugh, so weird. Our lives are weird."

"Tell me something I don't know."

Cas stepped into the room then, having just heard Sam's last statement. "Let's see, I once tried to-!"

"Rhetorical, Cas." Dean interrupted, smirking.

"Oh. I'm working on that." He apologized. "Mortals have such an odd sense of humor."

"Well, at least you're using the door now like a regular person. I'm glad you're not teleporting around anymore."

Cas frowned confusedly. "You specifically told me not to, so long as I hunted with you two."

"Again, not literal. That was a compliment."

"Right, yes." Cas nodded, giving him a smile.

Sam suddenly felt the need to be alone. "You guys, I'll be back soon. I'm gonna go for a walk."

"It's fifty degrees." Dean looked at the setting sun, "And it's almost winter. Have fun getting sick."

Sam rolled his eyes. "I'll be fine. I'm a grown man."

"I know, sorry. I keep treating you like a child, you're not a child."

"Clearly." Cas interjected, nodding.

Dean gave the angel a funny look, forever amused by the way he took everything literally. Still, he loved that about Cas. It made him oddly innocent, something that was difficult to find in adults. Cas was pure, he meant well, but damn he just didn't understand sometimes.

"Yes? You look troubled." The angel noticed as Sam left.

"Nah, just hungry. I'm gonna go get some burger and fries for us. Nothing for you, right?"

"I don't require food."

"Yeah, I knew that."

o

Dean held a burger in his hand, too hungry to wait until he got to the motel. He finished it off and worked on the fries as he walked towards the door. He noticed Sam not too far away, sitting on a bench by himself. He appeared to be sad. His lips were pulled into a deep frown, his eyes staring unseeingly at nothing in particular.

It made the hunter sigh. Dean knew he had a way of guilt-tripping people in staying with him, but he'd be damned if he kept dragging his little brother around any longer when he had both the smarts and the willpower to make a normal life work. Sam wasn't like other hunters plain and simple.

Dean figured he wouldn't be selfish anymore. He wouldn't hold onto Sam just because he didn't want to be alone. These days, he had Cas and Garth anyway. It was time for them to go their separate ways.

The older man dug something out of the car first before heading over to Sam. He dropped the bag of food by his side along with the acceptance letters in his lap.

"What's this, Dean?"

"You know." He said solemnly.

Sam stared at the law school acceptance letters blankly, setting them aside as he glanced up at his brother.

"I'm not going back to college. I'm staying with you." He repeated.

"You got pretty good scores on the LSAT's. I think you'll make a good lawyer." Dean said anyway. "You do like to argue your point, after all."

Sam scoffed amusedly. "So do you."

"Yeah, but I don't have your intelligence. You have a lot of wasted potential, Sammy."

"You're not dumb, you know. Just never applied yourself."

"Didn't feel like it. I had others things to worry about." Dean looked at him meaningfully and Sam understood. "I don't regret it, either. I just want you to be happy."

"What about you?"

Dean raised his hands defensively, smirking. "I'm good, man. I got beer, girls, hunting, and an angel and vampire I can call on. Pretty awesome, if you ask me."

"I guess so."

His smirk grew. "Anyway, you've been doing this a lot lately. These walks. Trying to avoid us, huh?"

"Three's a crowd." Sam shrugged, referring to Cas.

That wasn't the true reason. Dean could never know how he truly felt right now. Between being torn about Amelia and these weird feelings he'd been having since that spell, there was no way he could tell him about this.

Ever since that spell, he had felt differently about Dean. He'd always loved him, but whatever that witch did, it enhanced and heightened his feelings to a place they should only go to for, say, Amelia. It went past brotherly love. Sam was beginning to wonder if it was a love spell and perhaps it was meant for him. The girl had looked shocked after all when she touched Dean – she may have made a serious mistake.

"Huh." Sam smiled, suddenly realizing the problem. The witch had meant the spell for him clearly, probably to get him to fall in love with her or perhaps Amelia all over again. He didn't understand the logic behind the witch's actions. A love spell seemed odd to bestow upon either Winchester, because usually witches were out to get them. Hex bags and all.

Yet, why else would she look so horrified? People only wore that expression when they messed up something terribly.

So his feelings weren't real. Yet at the moment, they felt more than real and it was hard to simply ignore them.

"Sam, you okay?"

"Yeah." He ruffled through the bag next to him, "Thanks for the meal." He said as he began unwrapping the burger.

Suddenly though, he didn't feel hungry. Tossing it back, he sighed. Dean sat down next to him and peered in the bag.

"I know it's not a salad, but it's good."

"It's not that. I don't mind it, just not hungry."

"You mind if I take it then?"

Sam shook his head, laughing a little. "No, go ahead."

Yet Dean didn't eat. His green eyes stared at him like he was trying to solve an equation. Finally, he turned to meet his stare. Again, Sam was struck with these stupid new feelings. God, feelings were stupid. He admired the planes of Dean's abnormally symmetrical face. He really was beautiful. His eyes trailed from high cheekbones, to the light freckles that covered his cheeks and nose, to full pink lips.

Sam sighed internally. He really was going to hell at this rate, but this time because he deserved it. Then an idea struck him. He didn't know why he didn't think of it before, but maybe there was a way to track that girl down. Cas could probably figure it out, somehow. It was worth a shot.

"Sam…?"

Their eyes met and it became awkward suddenly. Dean cleared his throat and looked away, before side-eyeing him with a frown. Sam leaned over slightly, about to apologize for his odd behavior, when suddenly the distance between them closed a little too rapidly and their lips met gently.

They instantly broke away, both their hearts beating way too fast. Dean took a couple deep breaths, wiping his mouth as he looked anywhere but the man next to him. Sam stood immediately, cheeks flushed red as he grimaced.

"Dean, I-!"

"Don't. Say. Anything." He warned, gritting his teeth angrily.

Sam sighed heavily as the older man walked back to the motel not far from where he stood. He swallowed heavily. He knew he needed to retrieve his things, but he didn't want to face him again. Gathering his courage, he finally walked back minutes later and opened the door hesitantly.

Cas sat on the bed watching television, peering at it as though it were the most fascinating thing ever. His blue eyes never once broke away from the screen to look at him.

"Some of these programs are very entertaining." Cas said finally, but still kept his eyes glued to the show he was watching.

"Yeah." Sam said tightly, hurriedly packing some of his things. "Where's Dean?"

"In the bathroom. Hasn't come out for awhile." Cas said distractedly. "He seemed upset."

"Oh." Sam stuffed his laptop in his bag, trying to stay calm. "Tell him…just tell him goodbye for me."

"Of course." Cas turned finally, perplexed. It sounded very final. "Are you coming back?"

"No."


	3. Chapter 3

He was in Kermit, Texas for a month by himself. He liked it there, he fit in easily. There were still many things Sam hadn't revealed about Amelia to Dean—for example, that they found out her husband was still alive and although they'd wanted to be together, Sam did what he thought was the right thing. As a result, things had gotten a little complicated even though they were still in love.

So, here he was. A single man just trying to get by, living like the average joe. And he liked it. Sam worked as a matintance man. He assumed he would do this until the next fall, when he could start going to Stanford again. He wasn't sure how he would pay tuition yet but he would figure it out. With his undergrad, he'd had a full ride scholarship.

"Sam?" His older coworker asked. "You got company. He says he's your brother."

Sam's heart clenched as he set down the screwdriver in his toolbox, closing it quickly. "It can't be. I'm estranged from him."

"He says his name is Dean. Although y'all don't look nothing alike. He look like a damn Ken doll, don't he?" The older man laughed loudly, slapping his hand against his leg as though he found himself the funniest man alive. "No offense to you, Sam. I'm not implying you're the bad-looking sibling or nothin'."

"Right. Is that all, Vern?"

The man looked put-off, frowning. "You ain't no fun."

"Sorry, Vernon. Guess I'm not in a good mood today." Sam gestured to him to continue working on the broken sink, making the older man grumble under his breath.

He opened the door and his chest constricted tightly. "Dean."

"Wait." The hunter was about to do all the tests, when Sam gripped his wrist and shook his head slowly.

"I know it's you. Don't do that."

Dean slipped the holy water back into his pocket, shrugging. "Fine. I could be a demon. Crowley is still alive, you know."

Sam wasn't even listening to him. He was so glad to see him, but didn't know how to react. After that awkward kiss, hugging him might not go over so well. Things had changed. Their brotherly bond of hugs and playful fist fights were way over. That kiss had wrecked everything, at least in Sam's mind anyhow.

He was shocked at how casual Dean was being. "Where's your girlfriend?"

"She's not my girlfriend anymore. We're kinda on a break." Sam said.

"You working?"

"I'm on a maintenance crew."

"Cool."

"So…how did you find me?"

"You'd mentioned something about living here not long ago, so…I just figured you would still be here. Lucky guess, basically."

"Well, why are you here? Aren't you…" Sam trailed off, unable to even mention it.

Dean's eyes lowered, nodding. "Yeah, it's still weird. I just wanted to let you know that Kevin finally deciphered the tablet. There's three trials I'd have to go through to close the gates of hell."

"Sounds dangerous. Are you gonna go through with it?"

"I don't know. Other than that, Cas and I have been doing the usual hunting stuff—Cas had to rescue another angel, we did a case about Nazis, then we did a case about zombies-!"

"Whoa, what?"

Dean placed his hands on his hips, squinting as the bright sunshine bothered him suddenly. Texas was still fairly warm during the winter, he'd almost forgotten. "I don't know if I'm gonna go through with it. If I didn't, Cas and Garth assured me they'd handle it, but I hate the thought of them doing that without us."

"We're not the only hunters in the world."

"I know that. I can accept that now." Dean looked up at him, biting his lip. "I think I'm done. For good."

Sam scoffed, not hearing him right. "What? C'mon, you've said that before. Dean, I know you. You're never done."

"I am."

"You came all this way…" Sam paused, chuckling disbelievingly, "…just to tell me that? You could've called."

"No. I also know about the spell."

Sam frowned. "You figured it out too."

"Wait, you knew it was a love spell and didn't tell me?"

"I figured it out too late. By then, I had kis-!" He stopped then, his eyes wide.

Dean's eyes widened also. "That spell, from what Cas could decipher, could only work if actual feelings were there in the first place. Romantic, not platonic."

Sam looked totally done with him just then, a flat humorless look expression making him look much older than he was.

"What do you expect? I was fresh out of college, then I wind up with you on the road for nearly a decade! Two men spend that much time together, weird things are bound to happen brothers or not! I don't know what you want me to say."

"…well, damn…when you put it like that, you make it sound perverted."

"We hunted, we saved people, we did some good things. But you have to admit we spent way too much time together."

"And you, what, started to like me?"

Sam leaned against the doorframe, before moving to close it tightly behind him. They were getting too loud and Vernon would definitely hear them.

"I don't know. Maybe. It's sick and twisted, but we were always together. I tried to have regular relationships and those failed." Sam shrugged.

"You call sleeping with demons normal?"

"I liked Ruby…at the time."

"Disgusting."

"What about you? You had a real, actual chance with Lisa and blew it."

"I didn't blow it. I found out you were still alive and-!"

"And dropped everything to come find me. Idiot."

"Your soul was literally missing. You needed help."

"No, I didn't. That's the thing. You can't help everybody, Dean."

"You sound like Cas."

"Good."

The silence was awkward. The wind blew harshly suddenly, reminding them that even though this was the South it was definitely winter. Dean watched the trees sway in the breeze, before turning to the younger man.

"Show me, then."

"Huh?"

"How to be a regular dude. You seem to be so great at it. I meant it, I'm done."

"Sure you are."

"Some other hunters can handle this. I'm getting older and…I'd like to try to settle down."

"Seriously? Wait, you're not joking." Sam looked too amused for his liking.

"Nope."

Sam opened the door, leading him inside. "I'm almost done with this job, then we can go out and get something. I can find you a job at the mechanic, I know a guy who works there."

Vernon lumbered out then, looking them up and down. "Dean, right? It's nice to meet ya."

He shook his hand, smiling a bit awkwardly. "Yep. Nice to meet you too, uh, Vern." His eyes drifted to his nametag.

"Are y'all really related? Or…cause I don't judge…alternative lifestyles. Can't say the same for most folk around here though."

Sam blushed, inwardly realizing this must've been the fiftieth time someone had mistaken them for a couple. It was like the universe was mocking them. Luckily, Dean always handled it better.

He smiled charmingly. "Yes, we're siblings. I'm the older brother."

"Huh. Are you sure? Sam's so much taller."

"He's taller than most people." Dean quipped with a forced grin.

"True."

"Enough about me." Sam interrupted, gazing at Vern instead, "You mind finishing up here? Or do you need help?"

"You two go on. I'm nearly finished. See you tomorrow, Sam. Sharp and early."

"Yes, sir."

o

The apartment Sam lived in was a modest one bedroom. It was neat and nicely decorated. Dean sat on the couch, full from the nice dinner they'd had. Sam sat on the other end of the couch, awkwardly glancing at him as he turned the television on.

"I'm, uh, moving to California next summer." Sam said idly, to fill the tense quiet.

"Awesome."

"To go to Stanford."

"No, yeah, I got that. That's good, Sammy."

Sam couldn't take it anymore then, all this avoidance of the real issue. "I'm sorry that I did that. It was wrong. Past wrong. There's not a word for what happened."

Dean knew what he meant, causing him to frown a little. "No, you're not sorry. The spell will make sure of that."

"I still apologize, but honestly if you know it affects me, then why are you here? Because you think it's fine all of a sudden?"

"It's not fine, but I understand where those feelings might've come from. We have spent a hell of a lot time together. Too much, probably." He looked at him, smirking. "It ain't just the spell."

"So…we're cool?"

"Yes." Dean was still smirking though, which confused him. "Anyway, about the spell, it couldn't be broken. Cas and I tracked down the girl, Maya. She couldn't undo it. So I'm left with these dumb emotions too."

"It affects you?"

"Duh! Where have you been the last eight years? Spells tend to affect more than one person."

"Okay, calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down."

Sam laughed. "We sound like an old married couple."

"We're not old. And don't say married."

"Sorry. It was a joke."

"Terrible joke after what happened a month ago."

Sam turned to face him. "So, you're not okay."

Dean looked frustrated, putting his face in his hands for several moments. Finally, he let out a shaky breath and looked over at him. "I want these feelings to disappear."

"Me too."

"But they won't."

Sam grimaced. "No."

"So it's either we never see each other again cause of this damn spell or…" His eyes shut and he shook his head slowly. "I hate witches."

"I wonder what's it like to born into a family who aren't hunters. Must be nice." Sam sighed a little.

"Yeah." Dean agreed. "No spells, witches, demons, or anything like that."

"Remember when we used to just hunt wendigos and werewolves? So much simpler."

"Those were the days."

"Definitely."

It was silent again for awhile. Their eyes were trained on the television, but neither one were paying much attention to the show. Sam's eyes drifted over to Dean eventually.

"I think you ought to go." He said gently. "Find somewhere to stay until I can call in some favors to help you get a job."

Apparently, his calm tone wasn't enough to keep things light. "Excuse me, Sam? I just got here."

"The spell is still affecting us and honestly…I don't trust myself right now." He admitted.

Dean snorted, rolling his eyes. "Seriously? What, you gonna take advantage of me?"

"That's not something to joke about."

"I know, sorry."

Sam kept his gaze on the show suddenly, unwilling to look at him any longer as he felt his body betray him. "And I would never do something like that."

"Then why are you asking me to leave?"

"Because magic is overruling logic right now and wow, that sounded crazy." Sam realized, shaking his head. Yeah, their lives were odd.

"You're right, I should go." He nodded, patting the younger man's shoulder in an almost reassuring way.

A hand grabbed his wrist and Dean looked down warily. His brother didn't look like himself—his pupils were dilated, mouth parted as he gazed at him too pointedly. It was a look he was all too familiar with and usually ended up with him sleeping with some hot girl he'd just met.

"Sam." Dean warned.

The younger man blinked several times, seeming to snap out of whatever trance he'd been in. "Sorry. Just go."

The older man's cell vibrated suddenly and he quickly answered, much to Sam's chagrin. "Hello? Benny?"

"Benny?" Sam almost sounded jealous if he didn't know better.

"Okay. Mhm. I know it wasn't your fault. I understand completely." Dean shoved his cell back in his pocket with a sigh.

"What happened to your little vampire friend? Who, by the way, I still don't trust."

"He ran into some trouble in Louisiana, remember? A vamp called Desmond wanted him to join his nest, but he refused. There were a few dead bodies, but it wasn't Benny." He sighed, shaking his head slightly, "How can you not remember that hunt? You know Martin is gone though…" Dean explained.

"What else happened while I've been here? Are you saying crazy Martin is dead?" He reiterated. Sam remembered Benny, but had forgotten about Martin at this point. There had been more pressing things to worry about - namely, his strange relationship with Dean.

"Benny had to defend himself. It's a long story." Dean explained. "He's not a bad guy, Sam."

"Oh, I'm so sure. You're a hypocrite though. Telling me I was wrong to save Amy, but here you are all buddy-buddy with some vampire you met in Purgatory."

"I know I'm contradicting myself. If you wanna kill him so badly, do it. I won't stop you."

"But you'll hate me for it, won't you?"

"Maybe…depends on if Benny deserved it or not." He turned to him curiously, "Do you hate me for killing Amy?"

"No, but I still think it was unnecessary."

There was a palpable tension in the room now. Before Dean knew what was happening, he found himself spun around by strong arms and felt his chin forced up to meet eyes so different from his own. Sam looked conflicted, like he was debating snapping his neck right there and then.

"I love you, Dean, but god you give me a headache." Sam sighed, tightening his grip when he tried to pull away.

"Well, am I worth it?" He asked facetiously, but the younger man didn't see it as a joke.

Sam looked like he was going to laugh, but didn't. Instead, a wry grin tugged at his lips as he leaned forward suddenly. Dean's eyes widened, about to push him off very roughly, when a warm mouth pressed against his own and distracted him for a few seconds.

Normally, he'd snap to his senses and push him away, but the spell was obviously getting stronger. His thoughts were barely coherent as he continued to kiss him deeply. Sam's arms dropped to hold him closer to his chest and that's when all logic flew straight out the window. All Dean could feel was warmth and a firm chest, and he felt safe for once, as corny as it sounded.

Next few minutes were a total blur as they found themselves on top of Sam's bed, removing their clothing hastily. Jackets, jeans, belts and a hidden gun were tossed to the side. Dean pulled back, panting heavily as he tried to understand just what the hell was going on.

Before he think too much on it, Sam was nipping at his jawline, trailing down to the sensitive parts of his neck and chest. Sam grazed his fingers against sensitive nipples, causing the older man to moan louder than intended. Liking the reaction, he moved to lick at one while he rubbed his thumb roughly over the other. Dean grit his teeth, before gasping a little.

"S-Sam. Wait-!"

He paused.

"Oh, screw it." Dean half-growled out of pure frustration, years of pent up lust and confusion pouring out.

He needed this. He knew it was reprehensible, but he needed it. And he was definitely going to hell for this, he was pretty certain.

Sam pulled away, standing from the bed as the older man watched him through a half-lidded gaze. He knelt before him, parting his legs to get access to the partially hard shaft. Dean felt hands hold his hips firmly, keeping him in place as a tongue tentatively swirled against the tip. His back arched slightly, moaning lowly as his hands fisted the blankets when Sam took him in further, moving up and back down way too slowly. It drove him crazy. His cock grew harder—fully erect and throbbing in his mouth, something that made the younger man oddly turned on. Rolling his head back, he moaned louder when the other man's pace increased.

Before he could reach the brink of orgasm, Sam stopped. He panted heavily, glaring at him slightly. Then he was pushed back onto the bed and suddenly being teased didn't matter. He could feel gentle hands moving lower, circling his entrance and that's when he realized Sam expected him to bottom. There was no way in hell he'd allow that happen.

Before he could speak his mind, a finger carefully slid in partially causing him to gasp and pant heavily as it moved in further. He squirmed from discomfort, yet although uncomfortable it felt strangely good and he spread his legs a little more to give him more access. The younger man began finger-fucking him and he was lost to the sensation of it, forgetting why he'd been pissed. Another finger was added, making him grimace and twist away from him.

"Relax."

"Easier said than done…" He grunted, willing his muscles to release the tension he felt.

A very sensitive spot was brushed against suddenly and he wanted more. Pulling up slightly, he rested on his elbows. "Sam, c'mon. Need you."

"I don't think-!" Sam warned, knowing enough about sex between two guys to know that he needed to be better prepared than this.

"I'm good…just…" Subconsciously, he bit his lip, not realizing how good he looked when he did that. Sam sighed heavily, nodding.

Dean arched his back further, watching as the younger man grabbed his thighs and entered him slowly. Sam's eyes closed from the sensation, having never experienced this before. It felt intense with a woman, undoubtedly but this...damn it, he was tight. He wasn't even sure it would feel good for either of them.

He quickly found he was very wrong as he pulled out slightly, thrusting in carefully. Dean's breath hitched as he turned to bury his face into his arm. Sam noticed this, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to his temple.

"Dean?"

"It's fine."

The hunter couldn't help the strangled cry that escaped him when he began thrusting into him with less reserve. Dean kept his face buried, moaning when it began feeling good. He didn't expect it to be so damn painful—okay, maybe he did. Still, there was this incredible spot Sam kept pressing against. Dean met his thrusts, pulling up again as he panted heavily. It sounded like half-sobbing at this point honestly, but he didn't care. It was starting to feel really good and he let him know that loudly.

"Shh, I have thin walls." Sam whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips to silence him a little.

"And? C'mon, just-!"

It was rare to see him so uninhibited and practically beg at that, so Sam complied without another thought. His thrusts picked up in pace and his head began rolling back, panting harshly. Soon, Dean felt warmth pool in his stomach. He could feel the sweet feeling of release not far, taking his own shaft into his hand and stroking it quickly. The sight of him pleasing himself was it for Sam, he tensed and slowed down, trying to make this last a bit longer. Dean moaned lowly, his seed spilling into his hand and onto his stomach. The other man came not long after him, sent over the edge by his entrance contracting around his cock. He didn't move for a few moments, catching his breath.

He eventually laid down next to Dean, their breaths still short. As he turned to look at his older brother, Dean avoided his gaze and stood up. Grabbing his clothes, he made his way to the bathroom. The water began running shortly after. Sam laid there with a look of deep regret, knowing what they'd just done changed their relationship. He wasn't sure if they'd be able to look at each other after this.

o

When the older hunter came out twenty minutes later fully dressed, he hurriedly went in after him as to avoid any conversation.

To his surprise, Dean was still there when he got out. He was eating what was left of his chips in the kitchen, eyes glued to a late-night talkshow. His eyes flickered over to him, before settling back on the screen.

Ripping the bag out of his hands, he tossed it aside angrily and turned the television off. Dean only looked at him, a brow quirked at his little outburst.

"What the hell, Dean? You can't just sit there casually after what we did." He hissed.

"It happened. Too late." He mumbled, snatching the chips back. "This isn't a damn soap opera, Sam. Can we just not fight for once?"

"I…" He didn't know what to say. "I don't like fighting either, but it's better than ignoring the problem. The very abhorrent problem."

"True, but this time I don't wanna talk about it." Dean looked unusually serious.

"Dean-!"

"Honestly, the only difference between me being here with you now versus then, is that we're sleeping together."

"Oh god, don't ever say that aloud again. Ever." Sam ran a hand down his face, grimacing.

"Well, we did. Just stating facts here."

"Don't you get it? The spell made us do something we can never take back…one of the biggest sins there is."

"Sure." Dean nodded, chewing on his lip, "But it's too damn late, Sam. The spell worked. And now that it's out of our system, I'm gonna assume we'll feel normal again."

"Even so, it's still wrong. We're like those people who live way, way deep in the woods." Dean rolled his eyes heavily, scoffing as he folded his arms, "Look, I can tell you where you some good motels are. I'll call you later when I've found you some work."

"Don't bother, Sammy." He said nonchalantly, shrugging. "I can take of myself. In fact, you're right about this. We went…way too far. It's better we never see each other again, right?"

"Yes."

"Then…goodbye." He swallowed thickly, hesitating before he went to grab his keys. Closing the door behind him, he paused for a few moments and sighed deeply before heading to the Impala.


	4. Chapter 4

He hated this. If he could take it back, he easily would. He felt sore, sticky, and tired the next morning. Dean hadn't been able to sleep at all last night. The more he thought about what they did—like really let it sink in completely—he'd felt nauseous and nearly thrown up.

Yet, there was a part of him that didn't regret it. He did love Sam, wrong as it was. He quickly shaved his five o'clock shadow from yesterday, removing the stubble. Wiping his hands on smooth cheeks, he stared at his reflection. His hair was a mess, still flat and messy from tossing and turning. Dean didn't even care. He ran a hand through it, spiking it with his fingers as best he could as he laid back down. He had no idea where the hell he was going after this, but he needed to contact Cas and let him know he was back on the case. The three trials were still incomplete.

"Cas? I don't know if-!" He began, flinching when the angel appeared in front of his bed. Damn it, he would never get used to that. Even after all these years, it still surprised him.

"Humans are so instinctual, not unlike other animals." Cas noticed as though reading his mind. "You jump every time you see me."

"Not always." He corrected.

"You seem uneasy. Something the matter, Dean?" He asked, sitting down next to him.

"I want to let you know I'm getting back into hunting. I need you to take me to Kevin, now."

Cas' face scrunched confusedly. "I thought you were finished."

"Well, I'm back on the horse again, so to speak. I'm a hunter, I'm never done." Dean said solemnly.

"I can't take you back with me." The angel said suddenly after scanning him with a shocked expression. "You have no idea what's happening."

"To Kevin? Crowley? Just fill me in." Dean looked at him disbelievingly. "I'm not slow, Cas."

"I meant you. Your body is changing as we speak. That magic is very…" Cas paused, looking uncomfortable. "It's heavy magic. To be able to change physical form and cause the impossible to sustain itself, it's-!"

"What the hell are you babbling about?" Dean snapped, turning to him and fixing him with a hard glare. "I'm trying to talk about serious business. Hunting. You're talking about magic still? I don't wanna hear about spells or magic for a very long time."

"Even if it's directly affecting you?"

"It's not." Dean felt hot suddenly, tugging at his collar as he frowned. "The love spell, I…was able to break it."

"I see. Perhaps I should not tell you." The angel knew if he told Dean, he wouldn't listen or worse, freak out. He already seemed stressed. Time would reveal his condition. It was very early on—his body was forming all the necessary parts required to carry a child. It was being conceived and implanting as they spoke, but Cas wasn't certain how well he'd respond to hearing something so farfetched.

With angels, it was different. They had vessels, yes, but they were gender neutral. Therefore male or female angels could give way to new angels.

He knew with humans, that wasn't the case. So he kept his mouth wisely shut as Dean shot him a look.

"Are you gonna tell me about the tablets or what?"

"Well, as you know, there are a demon and an angel tablet. Three trials. Kevin is safe still, for now." Cas informed him calmly.

"He's with Garth?"

"I believe so."

Dean felt very tired suddenly, pressing his fingers against the bridge of his nose. His eyes were burning from fatigue he realized. The angel stood and watched him, looking stoic but there was a trace of worry in his eyes.

"You should rest. I don't think it's advisable to do these trials. Someone else will handle them." Cas said quietly.

"I will rest but then you're taking me back to Garth's weird houseboat. Got that?" He asked.

"Very well." The angel looked uncertain.

"Don't watch me while I sleep." Dean turned on his side, burying his head into the soft pillow.

Cas smiled a little. "I only did that once. When will you forgive me?"

"Again, just teasing you."

"…of course." Then he was gone, vanished into thin air as he left the motel room.

o

Kevin looked up curiously when the two men appeared behind him. He spun around and assessed them both with a suspicious gaze.

"I thought you said he quit." The boy said to Castiel, glancing between the two.

"I'm standing right here, Kev." Dean smiled dryly.

"Right. Sorry. Why are you back?" He asked instead.

"What a welcome. I'm glad to be here." Dean said sarcastically.

"He's here for the three trials." Cas explained quietly.

Kevin nodded, looking over it. Truthfully, he was over the whole prophet thing, but it was his life now. He could only hope that one day he'd be able to return to his usual life. Dean noticed the look in his eyes—it reminded him of his brother. The thought of Sam made him swallow heavily and he felt a little sick.

"Where's the can in this place?" He asked as normally as possible, swallowing the rising bile.

"In the back to your left." Kevin said worriedly, confused at how pale he was suddenly. When the hunter left quickly, he turned to the angel and asked, "Is he sick?"

"Not quite." Cas said vaguely. "I am not really going to let him do this in his condition."

"What condition? Does it have to do with Purgatory?" Kevin turned to him.

They suddenly heard the loud, unpleasant sound of vomiting. It was a moment before either of them said anything more to each other.

Cas shook his head. "No. Although it was rough on us both, him especially."

"Then…" Kevin looked intrigued.

"It's uncertain how well his body will sustain his condition. It wasn't meant for this." Castiel explained.

"You make it sound like he's pregnant. What's really going on?" The boy looked half-way amused by now, not understanding the situation.

Dean came out of the bathroom looking a little flushed. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to meet concerned eyes.

"I'm fine."

"Good. I must tell you, however, that I'm not going to let you complete those three trials." Cas told him sharply.

The hunter was almost too nauseous still to care. "What? Then why did you zap me here if you weren't gonna let me go through them?"

"I'm not really sure." The angel said honestly.

"Wow, thanks Cas. May as well have left me in Texas." He muttered.

"Why were you there?" Kevin asked.

"None of your business, kid."

"I'm not a kid." He reminded him.

"You are to me." Dean shrugged.

"I'm almost nineteen."

"You're a baby, as far as I'm concerned."

Castiel wasn't sure whether to laugh or tell him what was happening to him, bowing his head as he observed the floor as though it were fascinating.

"Something wrong?" Dean asked the man next to him.

"No."

It wasn't the right time to explain. Truthfully, it never would be. It was best to let him find out on his own.

o

The glow of his laptop created strange shadows on his face. Dean had tried to convince Castiel and the others that he was completely ready and healthy enough to take on these three trials. In the end, they had adamantly insisted that he retire from hunting. They would handle it, they'd repeated to him.

The normal Dean would've fought tooth and nail to battle right alongside them. He would've done everything in his power to seal the gates of hell.

But he wasn't feeling like himself anymore. It was hard to explain, but the past two months he just felt kinda…off. He was mostly just nauseous and tired, but it got to the point where he barely had the energy to leave the bed some days. Food was tough to keep down and he didn't enjoy beer like he used to. He drank it sparingly these days.

Currently, he was searching up medical reasons for his strange illness. It was a very Sam-like thing to do, but hell he needed answers and he was alone this time. As his eyes scanned the pages, a lump formed in his throat. Dean hastily blinked back tears, uncertain as to why he was emotional. So what if he had some form of cancer or other disease? He was alone, his life didn't amount to much anymore if he couldn't hunt, and honestly he was sick of everything.

Yet, he couldn't bring himself to end his own life. His depression didn't reach that far.

Still, he needed to see a doctor of some kind. Even a stubborn man like him could admit it. At least if he knew he had a terminal illness, it would bring him a sense of peace. He just wanted to know what the hell was wrong, that's it.

Picking up his phone, he dialed the number of a holistic-medicine doctor. He figured a person like that would more open to unusual methods of healing and unusual diseases at that. She lived in California it appeared. How ironic, considering Sam would be there later on in the year for school.

"San Ramon?" He mumbled quietly, impatiently waiting for someone to pick up. He figured it would be an assistant or receptionist, so he was surprised when it was the doctor herself.

"Hello? This is Dr. Richards speaking, how may I help you today?" Her voice was pleasant.

"I'm, uh, Dean Winchester. I'd like to make an appointment." He said hurriedly, hating this entire thing. He'd never been keen on keeping up with his health.

"What's your concern?"

"Hm?"

"How ill are you, sir? Do you already have a diagnosis?"

He paused. "No, I haven't seen anyone else yet."

"That's okay. Let's see…I can see you next Monday, unless that's too far. If it's-!"

"That's fine. It's not an emergency, or else I'd just go to the ER." He winced, wondering if that was a little rude.

She chuckled. "Of course, Mr. Winchester. Then I'll see you soon?"

"Yes, thank you Dr. Richards."

o

He drove to California which took about two days from where he was. When Monday finally arrived, he entered the small medical facility. It was tucked away and it looked more like a home than a hospital. It had a cozy, warm feel to it which he liked. It had positive-message signs everywhere and incense burning on the windowsills.

"Dean?" An older woman of about forty greeted him with a smile, shaking his hand. "You look well."

He was a little busy admiring her, that he almost didn't listen. "Yeah, well, I do feel better ironically. The closer my appointment got, it's like the symptoms disappeared."

"What symptoms?" She took out a notepad, brushing some black hair behind her ear. Her pen was ready, her light brown eyes staring up at him expectantly.

He sat in one of her chairs as she studied him. "Oh, well, like nausea and fatigue. It's been hard to keep stuff down lately but I've managed."

"Anything else, Mr. Winchester?"

He looked a bit red as he avoided her gaze suddenly, staring at the wall instead.

"It's embarrassing?" She guessed.

"…my, uh, chest has been sore lately."

"Oh. You mean your nipples, correct?"

Dean grimaced. God, he didn't like that word. "Yes…"

"Can I examine you quickly? It'll take but a moment." She kept her professional cool, even though he was clearly mortified.

"Sure." He replied gruffly.

He followed her to the examination room in the back and proceeded to remove his shirt. The doctor began checking his breathing, shining a light into his ears and mouth, and listened to his heart beat. It was strong and regular. She couldn't see anything wrong with him. Still, it didn't hurt to run tests.

"I'm going to do a little bloodwork." She insisted, pulling out a needle.

Dean watched as she inserted the needle quickly, drawing the blood. Pressing a small cotton swab onto his punctured skin and taping it down, she hurriedly set it down on the table. He sighed as he put his shirt back on.

"How long will the results take?"

"Hm. It could take a few hours, maybe longer. I'll call you as soon as I know." She said. "Since I'm a holistic practitioner, I'm going to have to send this to the hospital to their labs. I usually heal with herbs, crystals, all the new-age stuff."

Dean didn't like the sound of that, sending his blood somewhere else. "You know what? Don't, please."

"Excuse me?"

He didn't know why, but his stomach coiled with dread. "I think I'm fine. I don't want the results."

"But-!"

"Look, I'll pay for whatever you've done so far, but I don't require anything else." Dean told her seriously.

"If you're sure, sir."

"Thanks."

o

It was night by now. He was watching some boxing while eating dinner. For the first time in awhile, he felt sort of content. It got lonely sometimes, but he felt good about his new life. Giving up hunting hadn't been as difficult as he'd thought. It wasn't like with Lisa—it was different. He attributed it to feeling sick and tired, quite literally.

Checking his cell, he was surprised to see a missed call from his little brother. He sat staring at his phone before deciding to call him back. Setting his food aside, he waited for him to pick up.

"Dean?"

"I'm shocked that you're the one calling me first. It should be the other way around, don't you think?"

"Castiel told me you were sick awhile back, I just haven't had the nerve to call you until now. Anyway, are you alright?"

It was silent a few moments. "Yeah, totally. I've never been healthier."

"You're lying."

For some odd reason, he didn't feel like talking anymore. Dean hung up and tossed the phone aside. It was better this way. He was going to make sure his brother was happy and the only way he could be was if he wasn't involved in his life any longer. Sam didn't need him anymore.

He resumed his burger, which wasn't as tasty as it usually were. The flavor was actually making him queasy but he continued to eat it anyway. Finishing off his soda, he was about to lay down and browse through nearby mechanic jobs when he felt eyes on him.

Lowering the screen of his laptop slowly, he smirked. "Cas. Long time no see."

The angel cocked his head. "I can see you just fine. In any case, I come with some daunting news."

"Of course you do. What's up?"

"Well, the ceiling of cour—oh, one of your sayings, I almost forgot. Anyhow, I need to let you know that Crowley might come after you or Sam. He's heard you two quit and well, he is not pleased."

"But that doesn't make sense. He should be thrilled we're not gonna kill his ass." Dean practically yelled, standing up quickly.

"Yes, however, with you two out of the fight, sealing the demons may not happen. You two are infamous for killing creatures like them and since you're gone they're doing as they please. Some are even disobeying Crowley. He's lost a little leverage, so to speak."

"You're telling me he's pissy cause he's not as scary to them anymore? He can't threaten them by using us as a punishment? Good! That bastard deserves to be knocked down a few pegs. Just goes to show how awesome we used to be. We kicked ass." Dean nodded as though pleased with himself, a smirk plastered on his face.

"True."

"Why can't you or someone else seal the gates?"

"Well, I might be able to." Cas admitted. "Garth and the other hunters aren't nearly skilled enough, I'm afraid."

"So you're doing it alone?"

"No, I thought about asking Sam. I know you do not wish for him-!"

"It's up to him, not me. Besides, why not use me? One last go, it'll be awesome." He patted Cas' back.

"Dean, you can't go." Cas looked apologetic.

"Why the hell not?"

"You're with child." The angel said very bluntly, watching his reaction with an uncertain frown.

It was quiet way too long. The dark-haired man looked at Dean, only to see he'd sat back down with a blank expression. His elbows rested on his thighs, fingers interlaced under his chin as he stared straight ahead. The angel peered at him closely, regretting his words.

"You still didn't know."

"No, I figured something was wrong. But I don't believe you. It's impossible." His voice sounded very far away, his eyes glazed over with disbelief.

"Dean, I'm sorry. I know this isn't good news for you or any human man for that matter, but you indeed are carrying a-!"

"No, I'm not. I saw a doctor. She would've noticed." He still sounded distant.

"You're only two months and have yet to show." Cas reminded him.

"I can't, it can't be a—what?!" Laughing incredulously, he stared down at the floor, "This is ridiculous. I don't even have the equipment to carry one."

Castiel didn't wish to argue. He instead stepped away towards the door. "I'm going to find Sam now."

"Don't tell him."

"Of course, you don't need to worry." He promised. "Take care of yourself, Dean."

"You too."

As soon as he was gone, Dean let the tears he'd been holding back fall. He stood up, furiously pacing the room before slamming the bathroom door behind him. He looked into the mirror, at the unfamiliar face he saw. It was paler, sunken from scarce eating, and now flushed red from crying. Dean fought to regain control—he'd never been one to shed many tears. Yet they kept coming and he couldn't stop. Sitting down on the floor, he continued to sob as silently as he could. His hand moved to cover his mouth as he took in a sharp, unsteady breath.

"This is so wrong." He murmured out loud. "Like a whole other level of wrong."

And unfortunately, he was alone in this. He could never tell Sam. Once he calmed down, he would find a way to get rid of the baby. It had to be done—he'd faced many things before, but this seemed oddly daunting. Monsters, demons, and ghouls were one thing. Pregnancy? It was better left to women, he thought.

Pressing a hand to his relatively flat stomach, he tried to grasp that there was a small, living being in there. It didn't feel real yet.

All he knew was that he needed to see that doctor again as soon as possible.


	5. Chapter 5

Dr. Richards was surprised when Dean called her back. She made him another appointment and soon enough, they sat together in the back room. It was colder this time and he found himself oddly sensitive to the temperature.

Grace tapped her pen against her clipboard. "I ran your bloodwork this time like you asked, and I'm afraid you won't like the news. It was…it's impossible. But the results are clear." She gazed down at the papers in her hands, shaking her head. "In all my years as a medical practitioner, I never thought this would happen."

"What is it?" He had to act surprised—he knew his condition already, but he would let her tell him. Mainly because part of him didn't want to believe Cas' words. Maybe if he heard it again it would sink in finally.

"You're…well, the results say that you're pregnant. I'm going to run a full scan on you, just in case we've missed something. I'm having a hard time believing this." Grace told him, setting her clipboard aside.

"God, so it's true." He muttered under his breath. The doctor didn't hear him, going about setting up the screen and all the equipment.

"Is your bladder somewhat full?"

Dean blushed. "What does that-?"

"For the ultrasound." She clarified.

"Oh. Not really."

Grace handed him a cup of water. "Here. Let's try it again in another hour or so."

Dean drank it and found it actually soothed his nerves. It was cold and refreshing and the tenseness he felt dissipated a bit as he sat on the couch in the front. Flipping through magazines, he waited awhile like she'd instructed. He didn't want to through with this, feeling oddly alone all of a sudden. There was an urge to call Sam or hell, anybody really. He didn't however, focusing on the random celebrity news instead.

"Can her ass get any bigger?" Dean wondered, tilting his head slightly. "That can't be real."

"Are you ready, sir?"

He blushed, setting the magazine aside. "I guess so."

Laying on the examination table, he unbuttoned his jeans and lifted his shirt. Cold gel made him flinch a little and she smiled gently.

"Sorry. Should've warned you first."

"It's alright." He chuckled nervously, his eyes staring at the ceiling instead. This felt so damn surreal. More surreal than all the paranormal creatures they hunted on a regular basis.

This was a freakin' baby. A baby that shouldn't exist.

She pressed the transducer into his lower abdomen, which did seem a bit bloated now that he really observed himself. Otherwise, his stomach was still pretty flat. He almost thought this must be a joke—after all, men didn't have babies.

Her words shocked him out of his thoughts. "There it is."

Swallowing thickly, he turned to the screen with raised brows. "It's real?"

"Yes, very real." She tried not to look amused at the horror and confusion etched onto his face, instead patting his shoulder reassuringly. "That's actually your uterus right there. A temporary one, seems to have attached right about…here." She pointed to a spot right under a bunch of other blobs—he assumed his organs or something. He didn't really know what the hell he was staring at honestly.

"Where is it?" He murmured.

"Here it is. See?" She zoomed in a little closer, pointing to the tiny peanut-sized baby nestled in a fetal position.

"Crap." His chest seized slightly.

Grace could see this was upsetting him, so she proceeded to wipe the gel off and turned the machine off. Washing her hands, she peered behind her at his desolate gaze. He pulled his shirt down, subconsciously placing a hand on his belly.

"It looks like you're not past the first trimester. You have options." She reminded him.

"Could you help me get rid of it? Is it possible?" He grunted, sitting up slightly.

"Well, if you were a woman, then yes. But considering where the uterus is attached, I'm not even sure I reach it. So…" She trailed off, clasping her hands together.

"I'm going to have to go through with it."

"There's always adoption."

"You don't understand. I can't be pregnant, 'kay? Women always says a guy couldn't do it, right? Well, guess what? They're right. I'm not having it." Dean insisted, fixing her with a hard stare.

"You've done well so far." Grace was teasing him and it should've pissed him off, but he kind of liked her.

"Okay, yeah, but later on…when I'm really far along I don't think-!"

"Listen, Mr. Winchester, I can try to perform an abortion. Keep the media attention away from you, because god knows the media would be in frenzy over this." She said sharply. "But I'm warning you, it probably won't end well. I could surgically remove it."

"Like a c-section type of thing?"

"Yes, but it's serious surgery."

"I'll do it. I like that option, honestly."

Grace eyed him strangely. "You don't even want to think about it for a few days? This is a big decision."

"I'm ready. I want this done as soon as possible."

The doctor nodded, looking more relaxed. "I'm guessing you and the father are not on good terms."

"…no, but I don't see how that's your business, no offense."

"I try to get know my patients personally. I feel it helps me do my job even better."

"Right. Well, we're not speaking anymore."

"When did you last copulate?" Grace wondered suddenly.

Dean felt his face grow hot. "Early January…like maybe the fourth. Yeah, it was the fourth."

"Hm…" She began writing something down, her stare pensive. "Then your due date is sometime in late September considering it probably took another week or so to actually conceive. It's hard to tell without using a cycle as a reference."

"As in…that time of the month?" He asked uncomfortably.

"Yes." Grace smirked. "Anyhow, I would say your due date is September twenty-ninth."

"Wow." It was odd, but now that he could hear an actual date it made the whole thing eerily real all of a sudden.

"It's March seventh, so you're actually nine weeks as of today."

"…damn it."

Grace gave him a sympathetic look, which he couldn't stand. He hated pity. "Think it over a few days."

"Okay. But I'm not gonna change my mind."

o

Sam had a bad feeling about these three trials. He didn't know why, just that he felt something bad would happen. He found that when they finally faced an enemy, there was tendency for the brothers to either lose their soul, their lives, or get thrown into hell or some other dimension that they eventually escaped from. It was nervewracking. He didn't want to know what would happen this time around.

"I take it you're not going to join me." Cas said suddenly.

Sam shrugged, sighing anxiously. "I don't know. It sounded good when you first mentioned it, but I dunno. I feel like something horrible will happen."

"Most likely." The angel agreed, nodding.

"Why should we close the gates of hell? I mean, there's always gonna be evil out there. More darkness. It's not like it'll change much." Sam figured.

"You sound awfully certain." Cas noticed.

"You're an angel. You know better than anyone that light can't exist without dark."

Castiel's eyes widened slightly. "You are wiser than I took you for."

"Well, I'm not Dean. He's more of a doer and think later type of guy." Sam said amusedly.

"He is. Yet, you like that about him." The angel could read his thoughts.

Sam ignored that readily. "Will you be angry with me if I decide not to join you?"

"You've already decided." Cas answered. "It is fine, Sam. I will manage. I'll figure out a way to slow the demons down without needing to close the gates."

"Really? How?"

"You'll see."

"Thank you, Cas. You have no idea…it means a lot to me. I'll be able to live the way I want to, once and for all. It feels good." He placed both hands on the angel's shoulder, giving him a wide smile.

Castiel smiled briefly, looking conflicted. "I need to tell you something."

"What?"

"I don't wish to ruin your chance at normalcy. However, it concerns Dean. You may want to check in on him first."

"No, thanks. I'm going back to college. If I visit him, it'll be way too weird and…awkward." He nearly shuddered, shaking his head. "It's best we stay apart."

Castiel looked a little angry, confusing him. "You are both immature for such grown men. Can you not do me this one favor?"

Sam winced, his stomach sinking at the sharp look in those blue eyes. Cas had done so much for them over the years. Still, the angel didn't understand. They had done the worst thing siblings could do together, and they could never see each other from now on.

"I know you care about Dean. So do I. What we did though, it was messed up." Sam told him.

Cas frowned. "It is a shame that the innocent will suffer from your union, or lack thereof."

"What do you mean innocent?"

The shorter man looked up at him. "I understand why you can't see him, Sam. I'm not angry anymore. I will check in on him."

"Cas, wait-!"

He was already gone.

o

The former hunter was surprised to see so many missed calls from Sam. Castiel peered over his shoulder and Dean looked at him disdainfully.

"Personal space, man."

"I will be over here."

Dean sat down on a chair, holding his cell up to his ear as he attempted to rip open a bag of chips at the same time. "Sam?"

"Cas seems worried about you still. Be honest this time. Are you sick?"

"Sort of. Define sick."

"That's it. Where are you now?"

"San Ramon."

"California?" He sounded furious.

"Relax, I'm not here to stalk you once you go back to Stanford. I'm here seeing a doctor."

"So you are ill."

"Nope."

"You're making zero sense. I'm driving there tomorrow."

"You sure? I don't think you should."

"Tell me your address, cause I don't have time for this."

o

His fist hesitated in front of the motel room door. He'd driven from Texas to the address Dean had given him. Eventually, he did knock a few times. When the door opened, all he could think was how beautiful he looked. Sam internally smacked himself—it seemed the spell was still working. Or maybe these were real feelings. He didn't know anymore at this point honestly.

"You're here."

"I said I would be." Sam smiled a little, "Can I come in?"

Dean let him past and watched him closely. "You want something to drink?"

"I'm surprised you didn't you test me." Sam noticed. "Oh, and, no thanks. I'm good."

"I know it's you."

Sam stood with his hands in his pockets, staring at him a long time. Finally, he breathed out deeply. "Are you gonna tell me what's going on?"

"I'm gonna take care of it. Did Cas tell you to see me?"

"Yeah, but I also came here because I'm worried. It's weird, but I guess I still care even after…that."

Dean wasn't sure whether to scoff or smile. He felt relieved to see him, trying to keep his hormones at bay. "I'll just show you. I can't bring myself to say it."

Sam watched as he grabbed an envelope and shoved it into his arms. He blinked several times, taking the sonograms out and peering confusedly at them. Scratching his hair, he sat down on the bed and smiled in a strange manner.

"You knocked somebody up? Not surprising."

"For such an intelligent guy, you lack reading comprehension skills." Dean pointed to the top corner.

The younger's man eyes fell to the picture again.

"Winchester, Dean." Sam blinked slowly, his jaw slack as he looked up at him with comically wide eyes.

"Yeah."

"Holy crap." Sam cursed, covering his mouth. His stomach lurched, but not from nausea. He didn't know if it was fear, excitement, or what. His head was spinning from the news.

He was pregnant. With their baby. This was too much, even for him.

"Right? It's crazy." Dean said, folding his arms. "I didn't believe it at first, honestly."

"You said you were taking care of it. You're getting rid of it." Sam didn't sound pleased to his surprise.

"C'mon man, you don't really want this baby either, do you? It can't be healthy and you know that." Dean told him sharply.

"But it could be. Statistically speaking, there's a chance it could be."

"I don't wanna take chances. Not with something like this." Dean shook his head. "It's too risky."

Sam placed the sonogram back in the envelope. "Well, I'm here to support you. Whatever you decide."

Dean looked at him almost like he'd been stabbed through the chest. "No, don't do that Sam. I'm not dragging you back into my messes. First hunting, now a damn baby. It's ridiculous."

Sam's brows furrowed angrily. "Okay, hunting was exhausting, but I did it and don't regret helping the people we saved. And I sure as hell wouldn't regret my child. It's ours."

"Sam…enough. It's not a healthy child. It couldn't be. Please, just go…to wherever." Dean looked tired suddenly and the younger man wasn't sure if it was because of him or the baby.

It was so weird to think about his brother being…with child, but apparently he was. The older hunter wasn't showing at all. Not yet, anyway.

"No." Sam smirked, walking towards him. "I'm not leaving. We can work it out."

"Isn't that a Beatles song?"

Sam closed his eyes, sighing through his nose. "Yes, but I wasn't referring to…ugh, nevermind."

"See? I'm already annoying you." Dean pointed out. "By the way, if you need help during law school, I could send you some cash."

"That's nice of you, but we have more serious problems." Sam's eyes fell to his stomach uncomfortably.

Dean followed his gaze, before glaring at him. "School's important."

"Family is important too. I think you told me that, actually."

Dean kept glaring at him, unnerving the other man. "I'm an idiot. You shouldn't listen to anything I say."

"No, you're not."

When he said nothing, the younger of the two nodded. "Fine, I'll go. Do you need money for the…" Sam shifted awkwardly. "The…"

"Abortion? No, I'm good."

It was too quiet for several moments. Sam took advantage of the silence, moving forward to pull him into a kiss. He'd missed him, he could admit it now.

"What the hell?" Dean spat, wincing.

"I don't know, but do you think that everything happens for a reason?"

"Sure, why?"

Sam sat him down, before sitting next to him. He looked deep in thought before he glanced over at him. "Listen, I know this is beyond messed up, what we've done. But…everything has led us back here together. Maybe we could try again. It doesn't have to be permanent."

"How would this even work?"

"Well, like you told me months ago, the same exact way except we're…you know."

"Hell, we have been together a long time now. It's like God keeps pulling us back. I don't understand it." Dean murmured.

"It is pretty strange."

"Eight years hunting down the bad guys together. And now this." Dean sounded exhausted.

"Hey, we had some good times on the road." Sam reminded him. "And this doesn't have to be all bad either, if you'd let me help. You don't always have to be the one helping others, maybe let somebody help you for once."

Dean scoffed rudely. "Whatever, man."

"Do you mind if I stay here?"

"At this point, I don't give a damn."

Sam felt he was doing the right thing. Even if he didn't keep it, he figured they should at least try to reconcile. The spell was still in full effect and he hated to admit it, but all the feelings from that night were still there, hidden under denial and anger.

"You're making a mistake." Dean added seriously.

"Maybe." He kissed him gently, their lips lightly brushing together.

Sam pulled back and stared at him in a way that made Dean feel highly uncomfortable. It felt strange to have someone look at him with so much adoration in their eyes. Green eyes drifted towards the pillows nearby as Dean moved to go lie down. They were both tired for different reasons, so they didn't go any further. Tonight, they were content to lay next to each other and watch television until they eventually fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

The following evening, they sat eating chow mein together. Dean didn't normally eat this stuff, but it sounded pretty good. Sam couldn't believe cravings were already kicking in—he thought that happened later on, if ever.

"So, when do your classes start?"

"August twenty-something. I have to check again." Sam replied quietly.

"Cool." He set his empty carton aside, wiping his mouth.

Sam eyed the bed, then smirked and shook his head. Dean noticed that, blinking curiously.

"What?" He smiled.

"Nothing. It's too soon."

Dean caught on immediately, grinning crookedly. "Let's make one thing clear, I'm always ready. You know me."

"Too well, probably."

Dean pulled him up, leading him to the shower first. He turned the water on and unclothed quickly. Sam followed suit, joining him under the hot water. It wasn't as painfully awkward as he'd imagined it, to be both nude and intimate again. Sam wasn't even sure he was okay with this. Neither was Dean, yet they enjoyed each other's company right now regardless.

Kissing deeply, Sam pressed him against the tiled wall and explored his body again languidly in case this was the last time. It could very well be. Dean arched against his touch, moaning when lips lightly trailed across his neck and down to sensitive nipples.

Sam pulled away with a deep frown. "Wait. Maybe this is too fast…"

"Are you kidding me?" Dean gestured to their naked bodies, throwing his hands up. "Enough talking, Sam."

"You want this, then?"

Dean looked up at him. "Damn it, yes."

Their lips met again, kissing deeply. There was something hurried about it this time. Neither would admit they had actually missed each other's presence. They were both too stubborn.

Both took their time washing up, in no apparent hurry. Shutting the water off, they headed to the bed and Sam was careful to not press all his weight onto him as they collapsed back onto the sheets. He paused, unable to help it as he glanced down at the other's stomach. Dean distracted him by grabbing his chin and kissing him again.

He pushed Sam back, smirking as he lowered down to take him into his parted lips. Sam's breath hitched and he moved back a little to look down at him. Resplendent eyes flickered up to meet his, his mouth still wrapped around his cock.

"Dean…" He moaned, gripping the sheets when he licked along his shaft slowly, teasing him a little. "Wait."

The older man gave him a questioning glance, unsure of his motives. Sam couldn't explain it, only that his heart was beating so damn fast he felt it would literally burst. He needed him, now. No foreplay.

"On your back." He demanded.

Dean's member twitched despite his mind telling him his hated being bossed around. He only gave him a mirthless look as he did as told. His cock stood at attention, needing relief. Sam moved between his legs, preparing him gently. The older man gripped the pillow behind him, moaning.

He shifted slightly suddenly, getting onto his hands and knees. Sam swallowed thickly—the sight of him like that completely exposed made him painfully hard. Dean propped himself on his elbows, gazing behind him with a subtle, lazy smirk.

"You gonna move or what?"

Dean lowered his head, gritting his teeth slightly when he entered him. It kind of hurt but he willed himself to relax. Once he did, he looked back at him again and moved against him slowly, causing Sam to moan. Holding onto his hips tightly, he built a slow rhythm at first, letting him adjust. Soon it picked up as Dean began moaning from pleasure rather than serious discomfort. Sam smirked, changing his angle slightly to move deeper, hitting that sensitive spot over and over again. The older man gasped, burying his face into his arm to stifle his rapid breaths.

He gave a gentle roll of his hips, hitting that spot more deeply. Sam was pleased at the shudder the older man's body gave, how his lips parted from pleasure and the almost inaudible moan that escaped him. He slid out and slowly and glided backing in, noticing Dean's muscles tensing as he suddenly grabbed his own cock and began quickly bringing himself over the edge. Sam leaned over him more, so that he could thrust deeper and nip at his neck lightly. Grunts of unabashed pleasure escaped Dean with each deep stroke into his lithe body. Eventually, he tensed and came with a low moan. Sam had to still as his entrance contracted around him, gritting his teeth as he slowed his thrusts. He grunted as he finally came not long after, his eyes closing from the intensity.

They laid together in pleasant silence, the sounds of their panting filling the motel room. Looking around, Sam realized he'd need to call his job and put in his two week notice. And regardless of whether Dean kept the baby or not, they needed to find an actual place to live. Being in motels was fine while hunting and on the road constantly, but now they needed something different. A nice apartment, maybe.

"Sam?"

"Hm?"

"I'm, uh, glad you decided to stay. Not to get mushy, but I appreciate it."

Sam smiled. "Well, I was gonna move out here anyway, but you're welcome."

"You could've avoided me if you wanted to." Dean reminded him. "I wouldn't have blamed you."

"Well, true. I'm here now."

"Yeah, I know." He smirked, before kissing at his neck lightly. His lips moved up to briefly kiss Sam, laying back down by his side. The younger man gazed at him lovingly, smoothing his hair back as he moved to press his body closer to Dean.

o

So far, the transition to a supposedly normal life hadn't been too challenging. For Sam, it was obviously much easier. He had found a job at the post office instead, working there full-time until he went back to school. It paid the bills and he enjoyed it more than his previous job.

As much as Dean wanted to work, Sam insisted he didn't. Not until he made a decision. He was now in his twelfth week and Dr. Richards advised him not to wait much longer than that. So, he decided to get a test done that would reveal any abnormalities and risks. He knew it would turn out bad, it had to. They were related so the child couldn't be healthy.

Dean was beyond shocked when Grace told him otherwise.

The doctor's eyes scanned the results calmly. "It seems fine."

"How is that possible?"

She was confused by his tone. The doctor still had no clue about him and Sam's relation. Since they looked nothing alike, she had assumed they were simply a couple. Dean didn't have the heart to tell her. It would be too weird.

"What do you mean? I know this pregnancy is unusual, but there's nothing here that indicates a genetic deformity or brain issue. The baby looks very healthy, actually. Right on track as far as growth as well." She told him with a warm smile, trying to put him at ease.

Dean blinked several times. It had to be the spell, that was the only explanation for this. The magic was somehow protecting it from harm. Still, he couldn't wrap his mind around the positive results.

"Also, considering you're an older parent, I don't see any reason to concern yourself over issues that arise from that either." Grace continued.

Dean tried not to look offended when she mentioned his age.

"Such as?"

"Well, certain genetic diseases. Autism. Aspergers. The risk increases from certain factors."

"I see."

"Your baby is healthy though, as far as I can tell."

"I don't believe it." He stared at the floor unseeingly.

Grace looked at him curiously, but didn't comment on his odd behavior. "So, have you decided what you want to do Mr. Winchester? I assume you've thought about it."

"I…well…if it's healthy…" His mind had gone totally blank. The baby was innocent, it was apparently fine, and now he was weighing this huge life decision. This child would change everything if he went through with this.

"Dean?"

As he sat up, he leveled her with an even stare. "So, if I keep it, what happens next?"

Grace was floored—she was certain he'd stick to his original decision. "Oh, well, I would need to see you about every two weeks. Also, it's a bit late, but you could still take pre-natal vitamins. I can recommend some good brands."

"Okay." He smiled nervously, nodding. "Got it."

o

Pulling up in the parking lot of the motel, he noticed Sam outside drinking beer. He walked over to him and handed him his most recent sonogram. The younger man's brow rose and he gave him a funny look.

"I thought you were…taking care of it."

Dean scoffed. "I'm not. If you want an out, you got one."

Sam frowned and handed it back to him. "I'm surprised, that's all Dean. And you know, this is also my responsibility."

"Right. Sorry."

"I'm assuming the results were good."

"Yeah. Somehow, it's fine. It must have to do with the magic from Maya's spell." He figured, avoiding Sam's calculating gaze.

The younger man smiled widely. "Good news for us both, then. I found us a place finally. I finally saved up enough for the down payment plus the rent."

"Where?"

"Palo Alto."

"Near Stanford. Right."

"It's okay." Sam turned to face him, grinning slightly. "I think you'll like it. I've shown you pictures of it."

"I think I remember. It was nice."

"Look, I'm sorry about not showing you the actual place fir-!"

"Sam, after years of living in crappy motels, I'm not that picky as to where I stay."

The younger man daringly placed a hand on the small swell of his stomach. "No, but we need to be considering we're gonna have a freakin' kid."

"…yeah, you're right. Shit." Dean realized, eyes widening. "We gotta think like parents now. Wow, this is getting too real."

"It'll be okay. We're in this together, like everything else."

"Corny, but thank you. You're right, it'll be fine. Hopefully, anyhow."

Sam laughed and shook his head, though he shot him a fond look. "You're welcome."

o

Sometime in mid April, they were ready to move in. Dean had done a surprisingly good job decorating and making the place look nice. They were still missing a couch and the baby supplies right now, but otherwise the few pieces they had looked good so far. Sam was also shocked during their first night he'd insisted on cooking even though he had offered to take them both out.

"You know how to use the stove?" Sam asked jokingly, cracking a smile when he merely glared behind him with a sarcastic grin.

"Yes. There's a lot about me you don't know still." He said, flipping the burgers he was cooking. "Besides, I'm nesting. Or whatever they call it."

"It smells good."

"Here you go." He set a burger and fries down in front of him.

Sam tentatively took a bite, but was surprised when it was actually delicious. It tasted way better than the usual take-out meals they got. Dean looked at him, smirking as he sat down and began eating.

"It's good."

"Well, thanks. It's just a burger though."

"Take the compliment for once."

They continued eating in silence until they felt eyes on them. Dean noticed the black-clad man first, standing up immediately with a hidden knife clenched in his fist. Sam grew confused, his reflexes slower than usual since they hadn't faced an enemy in awhile. He set his food down and spun around, only to see a familiar face.

"Hello, boys." Crowley smirked. "It's been awhile, hasn't it?"

"You." Dean growled, narrowing his eyes.

Sam didn't like this at all. He didn't know much about pregnancy, but he knew enough to realize stress wasn't good for Dean. His eyes shifted nervously from his brother to the demon standing on the other side of the room.

Crowley began walking forward, only to pause and stare up at the ceiling. "Ah, clever. I should've known."

"When…?" Sam hadn't put that there.

Dean smirked, folding his arms. "I did that earlier, using a ladder. I got paint as close to white as I could get, you can barely see it."

"There goes our security deposit."

"You can't even see it!" Dean protested.

Crowley had to nod his agreement. "Sam, your brother has a point. You have bigger things to worry about. For example, me."

"What do you want?" The older hunter snapped.

"Dean, calm down." Sam warned, glancing to his belly. "It's bad enough you used a ladder in your condition. I could've painted a demon's trap, you know."

The other man understood but it didn't soothe his nerves or anger whatsoever.

Crowley looked very interested and Sam grimaced when he realized he'd said too much. His face grew warm as the demon glanced between them with a growing smile.

"Condition? Oh now, this is very entertaining. Explain."

"Why the hell should we explain anything to you?" Dean asked, looking him up and down contemptuously.

The demon nodded as though to silently say 'fair enough'. "True. However, if one of you is sick, this does change things. Or do you care to make another deal? You boys seem to like that sort of thing, seeing as how you keep dying and coming back."

"No." Sam said tightly before Dean could speak.

"I'm not sick. I'm, uh, compromised." He shrugged. "Try again later, we don't have time for you."

"Oh? You really think I'm going to just let you two go? You underestimate me…"

The two hunters exchanged a look, frowning.

"You're the one under the demon's trap, buddy." Dean retorted. "Anyway, why are you really here?"

"Good question." Sam also glared over at Crowley expectantly, raising a brow.

He looked between them once again, then at the nice apartment. It was an odd change of scenery, he noticed. No more crappy motels. It made the demon glance at Dean again—he did seem different. His skin had a healthier glow, he seemed rather content actually. Unusual.

"The gates have been closed." Crowley informed them, suddenly serious.

"What? Why wouldn't Cas come back and-?" Dean's face fell, fearing the worst had happened.

The demon stared at them in that smug, arrogant way of his. "He's alive. Barely. Castiel collapsed after going through those three trials by himself."

"He's dying?" Dean clarified.

"Not really sure. Don't really care." Crowley shrugged.

"You cared enough to be here." Sam noticed.

"Oh, moose, so naïve." He murmured pretentiously. "I could care less now. It's done. Demons are sealed, I've lost some power here on the earth plane. I get it. Times have certainly changed." Crowley turned to them with a smirk, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Besides, who is to say they won't open again? I can already feel the seal weakening. How do you think I'm standing here right now?"

"Why the hell are you here then?" Dean asked, leveling him with a heated glare.

"To kill you both, obviously."

Sam subconsciously moved to block Dean from view. He eyed him suspiciously. "Why do you care if we're dead or not? We've quit hunting and we're not the ones who closed the gates."

"Yes, but I'm still pretty angry about other things you've done. I don't need to remind you." Crowley said casually.

Then Sam's words caught up and he blinked incredulously. "You've quit?"

"Cas said you knew." Dean told him.

"I did, but I assumed those were rumors."

"Well, we're done. So you can try and kill us. We're not after you or your little demon spawn anymore." Sam said evenly.

"Huh. This is interesting." Crowley noticed how protective the younger man was and it sparked his curiosity. "You've quit and you're hiding something."

"No, we're not." Sam said uncomfortably.

"Yes, you are. I wonder what it is. I suppose time will tell."

Dean grew agitated, moving forward and shaking Sam off him when he tried to stop him. Grabbing the footstool, he placed it on the floor and climbed up. Using a hidden knife, he scratched at the demon trap enough to release him from it.

"What the hell are you doing?" Sam yelled.

"Relax. If he really wanted to kill us, he could've brought hellhounds or something." Dean figured.

Crowley only gazed at him, stepping away from the circle.

"I don't understand what your angle is, but leave us the hell alone Crowley. Or I swear I'll kill you first."

"Touché. This isn't over, boys." With that, he vanished into thin air, leaving the two standing there looking at where he'd been with disbelief.

Dean slipped his knife back. "That was weird."

"Definitely. I wonder what he's after." Sam replied.

"Us."

"But like you said, he could've-!"

"He's waiting for the right moment. He wants to know what we're hiding also, and we sure as hell can't hide it much longer." Dean rubbed his stomach, before pulling his hand away from it with a scowl. He tried not to touch it, but the further along he got he couldn't help himself. Sometimes, Sam would catch him stroking the small bump with a fond smile on his face. It was rare however.


	7. Chapter 7

Cas eventually returned to them a month later. Dean was beyond relieved to see him—he had prayed to him and gotten no answer until recently. When he arrived, he looked haggard. The angel couldn't move very well, gingerly sitting onto the couch.

"Hey, take it easy. Are you gonna recover from this?" Dean asked gruffly, steadying him.

"Yes. It will take more time than usual." Castiel replied. "I'm fine, really."

"It's so good to see you. I'm sorry you had to do that alone, Cas. I would've helped but…"

"It's alright." His tone was quiet and assuring.

Sam watched the two, before walking up to them. "Hey, Cas."

"Sam."

"Nice to see you."

"You too."

Castiel looked concerned though, piquing Dean's curiosity. "Something the matter?"

"More bad news. It seems there will be a war amongst my kind." He murmured.

"Wasn't there already a war?"

"A new one, worse this time. I need to be prepared."

Dean sighed heavily. "You should recover here first before you go back out there."

"Thank you."

The angel noticed he was finally showing. In his eighteenth week, his relatively flat stomach had 'popped' almost overnight it seemed. Sam had noticed it too the other day, while they were eating breakfast.

It had surprised him how much he liked the changes in the older man's body. His bump didn't look how he imagined—rather than looking like he'd merely enjoyed his sweets too often, it was actually sort of taut and rested in his lower abdomen, jutting out from his hips firmly. It was a new change but Dean blatantly refused to let him touch his body any longer. The hunter was embarrassed by his new feminine figure and kept it hidden usually in baggy shirts and sweaters.

Today he was only wearing a t-shirt since they hadn't gone out anywhere. His small bump was obvious through the material and the angel couldn't help looking at it for some reason. His blue eyes quickly snapped up again when he spoke to him.

"Why are they going to war?" Dean looked at him pointedly.

"It's complicated." Castiel didn't feel like explaining for once. He didn't even tell him that he'd also lost his powers. The angel hoped it wasn't permanent.

"That's it. As soon as I pop this kid out, I'm back in. You can't do this by yourself." Dean scowled.

Cas looked at him incredulously. "No, Dean. You two deserve this life now. You've worked hard enough. I will figure out how to deal with this war, as well as Abaddon and Metatron."

"Metatron? A transformer?" Sam looked half-way amused and yet also there was this look that clearly said he thought that was extremely lame.

"No, that's Megatron." Dean reminded him, "Cas told us he's an angel also, remember? The scribe?"

"Right."

"Anyway, I assure you I can handle it. There are others who will help me. You two need to focus on your new life." Castiel insisted.

"I guess so." Dean looked uncertain, tugging at his shirt a little. It still felt odd to be pregnant, to watch his body change so much, to even be able to feel his growing bump under his palm. It made it all bizarrely real—not like the first few months when he could pretend it wasn't happening despite his horrible nausea.

"Well, I suppose I should rest."

"Do angels need sleep?" Sam wondered.

"No. However, my usual powers-!" He paused, frowning. "I don't, but it will still help."

"Are you powers gone?" Dean guessed.

"For now." Castiel admitted. He wasn't sure he would get them back truthfully.

"Damn." The older hunter looked down, unsure of what else to add.

The angel looked around at the living room. "This is a nice home."

"Thanks. Here, I'll set up the pull-out bed for you." Dean gestured to the couch.

Sam intervened, stepping in front of him. "I've got it. You should sit down."

"I'm not even that far along. I'm not a damn invalid."

"Please." Sam added.

"Ugh, alright." He plopped onto a chair, crossing his arms.

o

Today they would be able to find out the sex. Now in his fifth month, Dean wanted to start buying more baby supplies. Currently, they were walking through the grocery store aisles. It was such a mundane chore, but to Dean it almost felt relaxing to be doing something so regular every week.

"Dude, there's like six different types of tomatoes." He observed, "And like four kinds of grapes."

Sam scoffed amusedly, but otherwise kept shopping. He went down their list and turned to the other man. "You want anything else?"

"Nah." He adjusted his jacket, trying to cover more of his belly. It was getting hard to hide. Dean assumed that other people would think he'd just put on weight, but in a couple more months he wouldn't be able to leave the house without unnecessary attention. The last thing they needed was the media getting involved.

"You sure, cause we're here. I'm not making any late night runs for your cravings." Sam joked.

"Whatever. I'll make the trip myself."

Sam gave him a look.

Dean only smirked in return, before grabbing the grocery list and peering into the cart. "That's everything. Should we start stocking up on baby supplies?"

"Not yet. Shouldn't we wait a little longer?"

"Let's at least start with diapers and clothes. We can keep stocking up. The crib and nursery can wait." Dean insisted.

"Alright." Sam smiled, realizing this was one of the most domestic conversations they'd ever had.

o

As they left the store, Dean suddenly couldn't help but notice all the other moms with their kids and babies in strollers. Before he had never paid much attention. The older hunter paused as he saw a heavily pregnant woman pass them, his head turning as she walked by. Dean wondered how he'd look far along and became nervous again. The impending birth was something he tried very hard not to think about too much.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

They loaded the car up and to his surprise Dean tossed him the keys. "You drive." He muttered gruffly.

"…okay." Sam blinked at his funny behavior. "You sure you're fine?"

"Yeah." Honestly, while he was excited, he wanted to get this appointment over with. Dean didn't like that his bladder had to be full for these ultrasounds, as the farther along he got the more uncomfortable it was. Not to mention, his nausea had returned. All the smells in the store made him very queasy.

"So, you think it's a boy or a girl?" Sam asked, pulling out of the parking lot.

"I dunno. I'm thinking boy, but it doesn't matter." He turned to him curiously, "You?"

Sam honestly wanted a boy, but refrained from saying that. "Either would be fine."

They dropped the groceries off first and put the cold items away so they wouldn't go bad, before heading to the doctor's office. Dean squirmed, covering his mouth a little. He tried to swallow the bile down but it was no use.

"Sam, pull over." He demanded.

"Huh?" The younger man worriedly glanced at him, then at the traffic behind them. He wasn't sure if he could.

"Now."

Turning the emergency lights on, he pulled into the bike lane and watched as Dean pushed the door open and threw up onto the cement. Scrunching his nose a little, he waited patiently. Sitting back into his seat, he closed the door and breathed out deeply.

"Dean?"

"I'm good. Just drive."

o

The transducer was pressed into his rounded abdomen and the doctor smiled, brushing some hair behind her ear. "Look, there's the spine. The head, fingers and toes. Would you like to hear the heartbeat?"

Sam hadn't heard it yet, though the other had. "Sure."

Soon enough, the rapid sound of the baby's heart filled the room. It was too quick for Sam's liking. "Is it supposed to be that fast or…?"

"Completely normal." She smiled, before asking, "Are you ready to find out the gender?"

Dean only nodded. Sam watched the screen, trying to make it out himself but he couldn't really tell. It was still pretty small, curled up and moving slightly.

"The baby is stubborn today. Its legs are covering its genitals." She explained, pressing the transducer on the other side of his stomach, moving it around to get a clear view. "If I can't tell this time, maybe baby will cooperate better next time."

Dean smirked. His kid was stubborn just like him and Sam. "It's okay. Next time, maybe."

"Wait, there we go. The legs are moving a bit." She gazed observantly for a few seconds, before smiling widely. "I know what it is. Are you sure you want to know?"

"Are you teasing us now?" Dean asked.

"A little. Sorry."

"So?"

"It's a girl."

Dean's breath hitched. He looked at the screen with wide eyes. "No penis?"

Grace chuckled. "No penis. See, right there?" When he nodded, she continued hastily, "That's the vagina. It's definitely a girl."

"Wow…a girl." He smiled, feeling excited at the prospect of a daughter. Dean knew he had some sexist tendencies, but he felt oddly relieved. Raising a son would only bring back memories of their father and their childhood. A little girl felt like a fresh start, in a weird way. He was excited to meet her all of a sudden, wishing it was September already.

Sam stared and stared at the screen. He had been prepared for this, yet it still shocked him. He'd been so certain it was a son. "Oh…"

Dean turned to him with narrowed eyes. "You're upset."

"No, no. I'm just…shocked."

"Uh huh." Dean gave him a knowing look, before watching the doctor write something else down.

Grace smiled at them sweetly. "Gentlemen, everything looks great so far. She's growing at a normal rate and your weight gain has been pretty regular so far."

"So, that's it?"

"Yes. Let's make another appointment, okay?"

o

Time went by slowly after that. Summer seemed to drag on. Dean didn't like being heavily pregnant during this season—he was hot, cranky, and the air conditioning worked sporadically. Luckily, they were up near San Francisco so it didn't get too warm or humid. Still, while pregnant, everything seemed more intense than it normally was. Even simple actions like moving around was cumbersome. Getting into and out of bed and chairs had suddenly become uncomfortable and challenging. His bump got in the way sometimes when he tried reaching for things. He'd unintentionally knocked stuff over, resulting in Sam taking it off the counter and putting it away for now.

Sam tried to be as helpful as possible though. He reached for things when he needed them now, brought him his meals, and gave him small back massages time to time. Dean appreciated it, though he hated to be coddled.

"It's okay." He batted the younger man's hands off when he attempted to rub his feet.

"They're swollen. I thought it might feel nice."

"Thanks, but I'll manage." Dean said gruffly.

It was the fourth of July and he was about seven months. He couldn't believe he still had two months to go. By no means was he huge, but he felt big enough already. Sam looked outside at the darkening sky with a slight smile.

"Hey, the fireworks are starting soon. You wanna join me on the patio?"

"No, thanks."

"C'mon. Up." He helped him to his feet.

They walked outside and watched as the air was filled with bright fireworks minutes later. Dean leaned onto him, causing Sam to look down at him curiously. He didn't question it though, rubbing his lower back for him. Dean yawned suddenly, blinking tiredly when the show seemed to be ending.

"I'm gonna hit the sack."

"It's not over yet."

"I know. Take a video with your cell, show me later."

Sam nodded, watching him go back inside. His behavior tonight had been strange. He finished watching the fireworks, placing his phone back in his pocket.

Walking into their bedroom, he frowned at the sight of Dean curled into a surprisingly tight ball for someone this far along. Sam leaned over him, throwing back the blankets, noticing one hand clutching his stomach and breathing a little too heavily. The other hand was fisted onto his pillow tightly.

"Hey-!" Dean protested, grabbing the blankets and covering himself up. "I'm trying to sleep here, you know."

"What's wrong?" He had never heard Sam's voice that quiet and concerned before.

"I'm just a little tired. Carrying around another human being ain't as easy as it looks." Dean mumbled.

"Okay, so then why do you seem like you're in pain?"

"My hips are bothering me." He admitted.

Sam placed a hand on his stomach, noticing how hot his skin felt. It seemed he was running a fever. He left to the bathroom, grabbing a thermometer and stuck it under Dean's tongue before he could protest.

"You're not sick." Sam noticed, reading the temperature.

"Leave me alone." Dean mumbled into the pillow.

"I still think we should call the doctor."

"Don't. I'm fine." He closed his eyes and tried to get comfortable. It was hard though. It definitely wasn't fat like he thought it would be. His belly was taut and it was hard to sleep on his stomach like he usually did. Sleeping on his back was even more challenging, causing his spine to eventually hurt.

"Here." Sam slipped a pillow under his thigh and stomach. "That better?"

Dean nodded. "Thanks. Now go, please."

"Fair enough, but I'm just trying to help here. Good night."

"Night."

As he sat on the couch, he felt uneasy still. He knew something was wrong, but the other man was too proud to admit weakness. Dean would rather literally die than admit something was wrong. So he sat eating snacks watching something interesting on t.v.

The older man eventually came into the living room near midnight. "Don't you have work tomorrow?"

"No."

"Oh…" Dean shifted oddly on his feet, appearing to be swaying almost. "Um, maybe we could call the doctor now?"

Sam's heart skipped a beat as he looked over at him. Outwardly, he seemed calm as he stood to walk next to him. "What's going on?"

"My hips are pretty sore, like numb almost. And I'm having weird back spasms." He continued.

"Does your back hurt too?"

"It's…just pressure right now. Maybe it's nothing. You know what, forget it." Dean was about to go back to sleep, when a strong arm held him in place firmly.

"I'm calling her." He said with no room for any arguments.


	8. Chapter 8

He helped him into the car, noticing how slow and stiff his movements were. It made him panic seeing Dean like this. Being worried over injuries or illness was one thing, but this was a new experience for him. Because it wasn't just Dean he was concerned for, it was their daughter too. His older brother had always been the tougher of the two—he bounced back from injuries pretty quick and concealed pain as much as he could.

Now he wasn't bothering to hide it as he moaned quietly, gripping his seat. "I'm feeling cramps now." He told him in response to a worried glance. "False contractions…I think. It hurts like hell."

"Isn't it too soon?" Sam wondered.

"No, not from what I read."

"Take it easy, we'll be there soon." He said in what he hoped what a comforting tone.

Dean was too uncomfortable to say anything. These false contractions were tight and a bit too painful for his liking. It felt like gas cramps, but somehow worse. Deeper, more potent perhaps. Whatever the case, he wasn't sure how he'd handle actual labor. He wondered if a guy couldn't handle it then, after all.

"You okay there?" Sam asked suddenly.

"Slow down."

He suddenly realized he was speeding and was thankful a cop hadn't pulled him over as of yet. Easing his foot off the pedal, he turned on some music instead.

o

Dr. Richards took off her gloves, moving to wash her hands. "Well, everything seems fine. He's experiencing false contractions a little early, that's all. As far as his hips, that's just pain from them needing to spread a little more than average. A man's body wasn't exactly designed to carry a baby."

Dean sighed as he let his head fall back heavily onto the cushioned table. "Seriously? God, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have woke you up in the middle of the ni-!"

"It's okay." She told him. "This is a special case. I'm aware that odd hours are called for, particularly when dealing with obstetrics."

"No offense, but you're a holistic doctor, correct?" Sam asked. "Are you qualified to be an obstetrician?"

"Sam…"

"It's alright. I was actually an obstetrician first, for about five years before I decided to go a holistic path. I could recommend midwives instead if-!"

"No. I trust you, I mean I've been seeing you this whole time. I don't want to switch doctors." Dean interrupted quickly.

"Good, because not many would keep this a secret."

Sam looked at her closely. "Why are you helping us so much? This is a highly unusual case."

Grace's eyes flickered up to meet his stare. "Let's just say I'm highly unusual."

"What does that mean?"

She smiled, shrugging. "I'm interested in the strange, I guess. That's why I went holistic. I liked the alternative methods and new ways of healing. I suppose you two think I'm weird now."

"Trust me, we've seen weird too. Lots of it." Dean told her, nearly laughing as he thought of how much crap they'd been through over the years.

o

Back at their apartment, they slipped into bed together. It was almost dawn at this point, but neither were very tired. Sam turned to face him, hesitantly placing a hand on his stomach. The younger man noticed he was letting him and not turning away, so he kept it there for now. Dean moved to lift his shirt, allowing him to feel it more closely. Sam's eyes became wide and he pulled away when he felt a pronounced kick to his palm.

"Whoa, she's...active, huh?" He tried not to look uncomfortable, but frankly pregnancy sort of freaked him out and he didn't know why exactly. Dean smirked in response to the look on his face and nodded.

"Yep."

"Does she do that a lot?"

"Sometimes. At night, usually."

Sam daringly laid his head down on his stomach. Dean didn't protest, only looking at him silently. He could still feel the child's movements. It eventually made him smile widely as he felt her kick again. It made him excited to meet her in the fall. It was strange to think that later on this year, if they made it that far anyway, that they would have a child. Maybe they could start celebrating holidays and birthdays more often.

Dean found himself playing in the other's hair idly. It had gotten pretty long over the years and it was still very smooth. He was surprised it hadn't fallen out from stress yet due to hunting.

He felt a gentle kiss on his belly, making him stop his movements. Lips traveled up to lock with his. They hadn't been intimate often since he'd entered the third trimester. It had been awhile, to be honest.

"Is it okay?" Sam asked.

"Yeah."

He could tell he was beginning to fall asleep, so he decided to focus on pleasing him. Sam moved to lick a pink nipple, watching as the other shifted and sighed at the pleasant feel of his tongue teasing him. He caressed the bulge of his erection. The younger man took his time prepping him after removing his clothes. He slowly inserted one finger, watching the other's reaction. When he finally relaxed and began moaning quietly, he added a second and third digit. Slowly, he began to scissor his fingers, smirking at the loud moans that escaped Dean. He began to writhe on the bed, his hips jerking a little as the pleasure became overwhelming. Shuddering, he gasped as the other man kept brushing against his prostate as he finger-fucked him.

At the same time, he slowly took Dean's shaft into his hand and jerked it for him. The older man bit his lip, trying not to moan. His breaths came in heavy pants as he felt himself grow harder as he continued pumping him in a slow, languid rhythm.

"Sam, c'mon."

He quickened his pace, watching as the older man tensed and seemed to curl in on himself as his orgasm took over. Dean came hard, a muffled cry escaped him as he collapsed back onto the bed. Sam smirked and leaned down to kiss his lips, then his cheek.

"Fuck." He smirked, placing a hand around his neck and gazed up at him pointedly. "Your turn?"

"You're exhausted." Sam shook his head.

Dean didn't give a crap about that, moving forward to slip his bottoms out of the way. His erection sprung out rather impressively, causing him to grin crookedly before taking it into his mouth. Sam grabbed his hair, his head rolling back as the other quickly moved up and down along his cock.

His grip tightened when he felt his orgasm welling up faster than he'd like. He'd already been so turned on, he didn't last very long as he stilled and grunted, coming in his mouth suddenly.

Dean swallowed what he could, licking his lips. They pulled away, laying down again next to each other, this time much more tired and satisfied.

o

Looking at the newborn outfit in his hands, Dean hummed a little and set it aside. Sam noticed he was incessantly going through baby clothes—picking them out, folding them, and then putting them back in the drawers.

"What are you doing?"

"Picking an outfit out to bring her home in." Dean replied gruffly, tossing another one aside.

"Just pick one." Sam said, shaking his head as he tightened the screws holding the crib together. Placing his screwdriver down, he stepped back to assess his work so far. It looked pretty nice.

The nursery was white and lavender. Dean had refused to make it pink. Setting up a bedroom for a girl was more disconcerting than he thought. He didn't want to deny her girly things, but at the same time he didn't want it to look all "princess-y" as he called it.

"Maybe it's too plain." He noticed, looking at the room.

They had a crib, dresser, and changing table. A chair sat by the window under the shelves they used to store children's books.

"What do you wanna add?" Sam questioned, smiling at him.

"I dunno. Flowers? Hello Kitty? Do girls even like that stuff anymore?" He wondered aloud, smirking.

"You got me." Sam shrugged. "We could put her name on the wall."

"With flowers?"

Sam laughed. "I guess so. Why not?"

Dean also started chuckling, shaking his head slowly. "Man, we're not cut out to raise a girl, are we?"

"Probably not." He agreed. "But we'll learn, I mean no parent is perfect."

He was about to reply, when he felt a tightening in his back. Placing a hand to his low back, he grimaced as he sat down in the chair. Sam came over to him, but he waved him off casually.

"I'm fine." He assured him.

Dean was due in about two weeks. The doctor had told them after the thirty-seventh week the baby could technically come at any time since he was full-term.

During their last visit, they had found out that he could in fact deliver naturally. A small slit, or opening, had gradually formed over the past month in between his sac to his lower extremities. Disturbing, yes. But it was functional. Dean was thankful he at least had the option of a natural birth instead of having to do a c-section.

"You wanna get dinner now?"

"Sure."

"Chinese?" Sam already knew what he wanted.

Dean smirked widely. "Yeah."

o

Sam kept looking at his stomach out the corner of his eye, like it was a ticking bomb. Today was September twenty-ninth and aside from some sporadic false contractions, there was no sign of actual labor. In fact, Dean looked just fine. He was drinking some water while browsing something on the laptop. A wide smirk made Sam scoff at him.

"What?"

"Nothing." He replied, idly rubbing his large stomach. It stuck out pretty far now, throwing him off balance. The baby had definitely dropped recently too. There was a lot more pressure than before.

Sam grew concerned when the due date came and went with no baby. That meant he was officially overdue.

Dean looked at the clock. "I guess she's late. Too cool to arrive early." He laughed.

"You're not annoyed?"

"A little. I mean, I'm not happy to still be pregnant but…I dunno." He explained vaguely. Dean would never tell his brother this, but part of him actually enjoyed this pregnancy. The acid reflux, heartburn, and having to pee all the time got old. Yet another part of it was pretty amazing. To watch a life grow, feel her move around, to have Sam be nicer to him than usual. It didn't all suck, necessarily.

"You're calm." He noticed.

"I can't be relaxed?" Dean asked with a confused stare.

"I'm glad to see to you happy, that's all. Honestly, for a minute, I wasn't even sure if this new life would even work out. Like it would get snatched away…again." Sam explained to him.

Dean nodded. "Oh. Yeah, I get that. Things have been freakishly normal lately." The man paused, before chuckling, "Well, for us anyway."

Sam looked over at him seriously all of a sudden. "I'm not sure waiting for the baby is a good idea. Dr. Richards insisted you get a c-section. You should've done that, Dean."

"I want to do this naturally." He protested, for what felt like the millionth time. They weren't on the same page about the birth, needless to say.

"I don't get it. You'd rather have no drugs, deliver naturally, then to opt for the c-section?" Sam asked. He didn't want to see Dean in that much pain. To him, it seemed like the more logical solution.

"Yes. I'm not having a c-section. It's surgery, you realize that? I'll be paying for it for like six weeks afterwards."

"I'm here to help you." Sam reminded him calmly.

"Still, I wanna do it naturally. I can't do the epidural, because I'd need an anesthesiologist who might freak the hell out when they find out I'm a guy. I don't need more people knowing about this. Grace knows what she's doing."

"Dean, we don't even know if your water can break like it should. If a natural delivery is even safe for you." When the other man was silent, he continued, "What if you don't go into labor soon?"

"I'll get induced." He shrugged. "I have to call her in the morning anyway, so we're good."

Sam rolled his eyes. The older man was infuriatingly casual about everything. He didn't realize how concerned he was, probably didn't care either. Dean was known to be very stubborn. When he wanted something done his way, it was hard to convince him.


	9. Chapter 9

In the morning, it seemed it was finally happening. Almost as if the baby had heard their argument and decided to finally arrive. Sam woke up to find Dean missing which wasn't unusual. It had been hard for him to sleep properly the past couple months. He usually winded up on the couch or sleeping in a chair, or some other odd position.

To his surprise, he was in an actual bath. Dean never took baths, finding it to be emasculating. The pregnancy was one thing, but bubble baths were out of the question. His face was flushed red and he tiredly looked over at Sam in a way that worried him. He looked drained already.

"Dean?"

"They're every fifteen minutes." He murmured, appearing to let out a deep breath.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"You were sleeping so deeply, plus Grace said to wait until they're every ten minutes. No, five."

Sam sighed heavily, nodding. "I'm gonna get your clothes."

"No, it feels good like this. The warm water, uh, it helps."

"I know, but we have to leave eventually."

Sam went to go grab the hospital bag, noticing signs of how he'd been coping with the pain earlier that morning. Signs of hands clenching the blanket in the living room and the pillows on the floor.

He eventually got dressed in comfortable black sweats and a tight-fitting long sleeved shirt. He threw a jacket on top of it, having to pause and hold onto the bed when the pain got really bad. Straightening up, he got his shoes on with Sam's help.

"We're gonna have a kid." Dean sounded incredulous, sitting on the bed and going through the hospital bag one more time.

"You're the one carrying her, why are you surprised?"

"I'm just…it's kinda surreal, you know? I never thought I'd become a father." Dean admitted.

Sam kissed him lightly, looking amused. "Me either. So, you ready to go?"

Dean wanted to respond, but he was stopped by a contraction. Sam's brow rose. That wasn't typical, although this birth wasn't either. They'd shortened from fifteen to maybe five minutes or less way too soon.

He noticed how heavily he was breathing suddenly, his eyes glazed like he was in a trance. Gripping onto Sam's jacket tightly, he bowed his head and moaned deep in his throat. Sam panicked, leaning down to meet his gaze.

"What-?"

"Don't." His voice sounded weird—oddly soft and distant.

"When did your contractions start?" Sam asked suddenly.

Dean looked up at him with unfocused eyes, still breathing heavily. "Like five in the morning."

Sam looked at the clock. It was seven forty five. It had only been about three hours, then. Dean started trembling a little, moaning still as he bowed his head again. Sam noticed he seemed to be staring intently at something—a focal point probably, to cope with the contractions.

"Dean-!"

"Don't." He repeated, not taking his eyes from his focal point. If he did, he would lose it. The contractions were one on top of the other.

Sam called Grace immediately. "Hello?"

"Sam, how's everything?"

"It's Dean…um, the contractions picked up out of nowhere. Like one on the top of the other in less than a couple hours. Is that normal? I thought that only happened in movies?" He was confused, but starting pacing to keep himself relaxed.

She was too silent for a moment. "Remain calm, okay? You're right, that usually happens in movies and it's all very dramatic and silly if you ask me, but in real life short labors can occur. It's called precipitous labor. But listen to me—they're usually very dangerous."

"Dangerous?"

"Yes, because for a labor to be completed in such a short length of time the contractions are generally almost continuous and extremely long and intense, immediately. This makes it extremely difficult for the woman to adjust to labor and find a coping strategy. Or man, in this case. Sorry."

"What should I do? Should we drive to your office?"

"Yes, but hurry. I'll be there in thirty minutes tops, don't worry."

"Thank you." Sam hung up and returned his attention to his brother who seemed completely out of it by this point.

His eyes were still unfocused and he gripped onto him again, leaning into him and breathing harshly. It unnerved him to see his normally tough brother like this, but Dean needed him.

"Sam." He sounded like he was begging, which hurt him in a way he didn't understand. It sucked not being able to do anything to help him. Normally he could bandage him up and keep going, but this was different somehow.

"I know, let's go. Can you walk?"

"Y-Yeah, sure." He unsteadily got to his feet, still leaning onto him with a tight grip.

Dean blinked, amazed at what he was seeing. It was like his brain was desperately shutting down, removing him from the intense pain. Everything was white around his eyes and blurry. Almost like he was on the verge of fainting, but not quite. Sounds were muffled too as he took a slow step forward.

He didn't hear Sam's voice.

All he knew was he needed to get somewhere and get her out. His instincts were his only focus at this point and he pulled away from the younger man.

"What the hell, Dean? Where are you going?"

But he didn't hear him, swaying unsteadily as the white around him grew impossibly brighter. Sam steadied him and swallowed the thick lump in this throat. He'd never seen him like this and never wanted to again. It was scaring the shit out of him, frankly.

"Dean? Let's go to the car. C'mon, I've the bag." He told him. "Can you hear me right now?"

When he got no response, he walked him to the car faster, not missing how he seemed to be about to pass out. Somehow, thankfully, he didn't and Sam was able to get him into the car comfortably. He turned on the air conditioning for him even though it was pretty chilly.

"You alright?"

Now that he was sitting and regaining some focus, the pain became blaringly obvious and he panted heavily. "I…" His eyes closed as he arched his back against the seat. "Help me..."

Sam frowned when he realized he wasn't speaking to him.

"We'll be there soon." He said anyway, adjusting the rearview mirror as he pulled out of the driveway.

Dean wasn't even listening. The baby was coming now, he could feel the pressure increasing. He only made it ten minutes before he let out a loud groan and began writhing on his seat.

"Holy shi-!" He hissed, spreading his thighs instinctively. "Sam, pull over right now."

"I can't. We're almost there."

Dean sighed. Tugging off his sweats, he was barely aware of someone else helping him. All he felt was pain and now an odd burning sensation. A moment later, he paused when he felt a burst of liquid leak from his new entrance. It slowed down eventually and the contractions became somehow more painful. It was tight, deep, and felt like the worst gas cramps he'd ever had in his entire life. All he could do was try to push, but it was hard to focus when the car was still moving.

Sam pulled over, seeing this was happening now whether they wanted it to or not. He got out and grabbed some water from the hospital bag, returning to the front seat only to see him push down. His face grew red, panting and unfocused. He pushed again, feeling her about to crown. It was the craziest sensation so far and she wasn't even out yet.

"Hey, slow down. Stop." Sam insisted. His once small opening was now uncomfortably wide. He looked at it curiously, noticing he was going to tear if he kept going.

Dean didn't listen, continuing to bear down until he was almost breathless. Stopping suddenly, he moaned when he felt burning.

"That's…" Sam's eyes widened in amazement, "I can see her head. You're almost there."

A loud shout escaped him as the contractions continued with horrible, searing pain. Dean pushed more gently this time, trying to feel for her head. Sam brushed his hands away, holding his thigh and pushing it back so he could help better.

"I've got her. Just push." Sam grew nervous, not keen on delivering his own child. It was exciting, but nervewracking.

A new wave of pain washed over him and he bore down as hard as he could now. Sam smiled, gripping her head gingerly and twisting her as her shoulders began to emerge. It caused a scream to rip from him, not able to hold back anymore.

"It's okay, she's almost out." Sam soothed, meeting his gaze briefly.

"Sam…I can't…" He shook his head, exhaustion evident in his eyes. His body was trembling slightly from the pain as she remained stuck, stretching his opening to limits he didn't think were bearable. He didn't get how women did this willingly more than once. Probably because they had drugs. God, drugs sounded good right now. "I knew I wouldn't be able to…"

"No, you're doing good. One more." He insisted.

"No, I-!" He pushed anyway, unable to help it as his body took over his fears.

Sam twisted her shoulders gently, pulling her out quickly and setting the infant on his stomach. The world fell away as Dean grabbed her, cradling her as best he could in this position. Panting heavily, he looked down at her like she wasn't real, his eyes misting against his will. A hand hovered uncertainly above her tiny head, before he smoothed what little hair she had down fondly. Taking a small hand into his own, he kissed it and grinned tiredly.

"Look at you, huh..." He said, still panting hard.

"God, she's…I would say beautiful, but that's cliché." Sam laughed. "She is beautiful though. You did well, Dean."

"I guess so." He disagreed, patting her back to get her to cry. She whimpered a little, coughing as fluid was clear from her throat.

"No, you did well. Trust me."

Sam leaned down to kiss his forehead, alarmed at how flushed and pale he looked. They needed to get to Grace's office quickly. Calling an ambulance would only invoke unnecessary attention.

o

Grace met them there. It had been tough getting him and the baby inside while he was still bleeding, but they'd managed. She helped him deliver the afterbirth and clean up, but not before examining the newborn.

After doing all the tests for her sight and hearing, she took her weight and length. "Eight pounds four ounces? She's on the bigger side."

"Wow…" Sam made a weird face, almost like a grimace but not quite. "We weren't even that big and we're guys."

"Yes, well, she is healthy at the moment. A little shocked and unresponsive, however." Grace informed him.

Sam noticed that. The baby was oddly alert, her eyes wide open and staring around at the room. Her face was very red too.

"Is she gonna be alright?"

"Short labors usually cause infants to be in shock for a little while due to the intensity and speed of delivery. The redness will go down too—those are burst blood vessels. They'll heal."

"God…" He breathed, watching her squirm in her newly wrapped blanket.

Her eyes fluttered shut, her breaths deepening as she fell asleep. Taking a tiny hand, he watched her a few moments before heading over to Dean. He looked exhausted, but much better than earlier. Grace cleaned him up, gently pulling out the placenta when he pushed again, disposing off it hurriedly.

"Are you okay now?" Sam asked gently, staring at him with a seriousness than made him uneasy.

"I'll live. It's not a big deal."

"You just had a baby."

Dean blinked at how odd those words sounded. "I know, but I feel better now. Honestly." Truthfully, he was still pretty sore and uncomfortable, but Grace had given him something to help the lingering discomfort.

Tears escaped him anyway, the emotions he'd stuffed down earlier coming out unfortunately. The birth coupled with the fact that she was finally here got the better of him and although he had told himself he wouldn't cry, silent tears slid down his face.

Sam rubbed his back, glancing at the newborn. "You want some water?"

"Sure." He rubbed at his eyes hastily, blinking back the stinging in his eyes. "How is she?"

Sam handed him a water bottle. "Fine. In shock, but she'll be okay soon."

"I want to hold her." He insisted after taking a long drink.

Nodding, he went to retrieve her and held her carefully against his chest. The baby looked tiny compared to his large, tall frame. Dean took her, holding her a little awkwardly before he found his bearings. Tugging down the hat Grace put on her head, he gave her a rare, warm smile.

"Hey, kid. Was that rough on you too?" He noticed her red spots, frowning.

"Burst blood vessels. Grace told me they'd heal."

"Oh…" Looking down at her, he smiled fondly. "You made a very dramatic entrance, Quinn." He told her, smirking. "Dramatic like your father."

"Yeah…hey! That's not…" Sam protested, but let it go quickly. He couldn't explain it, but he just didn't have the nerve to get angry at Dean. Not after what he'd just witnessed in the car. Truthfully, as trite as it sounded, he saw him in a different manner now. It wasn't more love for him, it was respect. As odd as it sounded, he was technically the one who gave him his first child.

"Is that her name?" Dr. Richards asked suddenly, walking up to them. "For the official birth certificate, anyway."

"Yeah. Quinn Elise Winchester." Dean told her.

o

Sam fed her later with a formula she had provided, since Dean couldn't feed her. The older man slept fitfully, but eventually he stilled and his breaths grew deeper. He set her down in a makeshift bed, wrapping her back up properly. He placed small newborn gloves onto her hands, adjusting her hat also.

Hours later, Quinn looked much better. Her face was a bit blotchy still but she slept peacefully. So far, she hadn't cried much and was a very calm baby. Sam watched over her, awed by the simplest movements of her hands and legs. She was so small and from what he could tell, she resembled Dean. Her tuft of hair was blonde, her squinted eyes were blue but that could change. He imagined her hair would get darker like his as she got older, most likely. Unless she took after Mary or Dean when he was younger and much blonder.

It didn't matter though. Quinn was healthy, Dean was okay, and they hadn't been found out. He was happy, plain and simple.

"Let's see, Sam. I forgot to ask you something. Do you know about what time it was when she was born?"

"Oh, um, about eight-twenty in the morning." He remembered.

"September 30th, eight twenty…" Grace repeated aloud, writing it down. "Thank you, Sam."

"You're welcome."

o

Grace let them stay the next two days, temporarily closing her office to new patients. When she felt he was ready to be released, the doctor handed them some forms to sign. Sam took care of the paperwork mostly while Dean dressed Quinn in a onesie. When Sam saw what he had chosen, his face fell.

"Metallica?"

"Yes. They don't just sell these anywhere." Dean replied.

"That's hilarious and I don't even know why."

"What? Gotta start 'em young. She needs to know this stuff, Sam." Dean hoisted Quinn onto his shoulder when she started crying all of a sudden.

"She doesn't want it, see?" Sam joked.

"Yeah, whatever." Dean couldn't help the grin, patting her back to soothe her hopefully. It worked, because her cries turned into hiccups as she snuggled further onto his chest.

They finally felt like a complete family when they went back to their apartment. Dean fed her again and held her close for awhile, before letting Sam hold her while he took a shower.

The new father smiled down at his daughter, who was content and full now. Quinn was falling asleep, so he took her to the nursery and carefully set her down in the crib. He made sure she was face up for now, watching as she curled her fists up, her head lolling to the side as her breaths grew deeper.

"Damn it!"

Sam raced to their bathroom instantly, opening the door to find Dean examining his body. Blushing, he smiled crookedly when he shot him a glare.

"Uh, privacy?" He wrapped his towel tighter around himself. Dean wasn't comfortable being seen nude right after having a baby. His once taut, round bump was gone and his belly was now soft and deflated. It looked weird to him. It would take a minute to lose the extra baby weight, but he figured that could wait.

"Sorry. My bad. You okay?"

"The opening is gone. It started feeling kinda painful, then it was just gone. I can't explain it." Dean looked uncomfortable, covering himself up more.

"You look fine to me. Give yourself a break, Dean. You just had her a few days ago." Sam said, leaning against the doorframe.

"I know, still…" He looked sullen. "How's Quinn doing, anyway?"

"Sleeping."

"Awesome."

"How are you?" Sam asked seriously, still not quite over that intense birth. It would take time before he forgot. He doubted he would completely forget. If it hadn't been for the fact they were both men, it would've been one hell of a story to tell her when she got older. For her sake though, she was adopted and that was what they were sticking with along with them just being a couple. She could never know their relation.

"I'm okay. Stop asking. If you ask me one more time, I swear I'll go crazy."

"Point taken."

"Look, it's nice of you, but I'm good. Seriously."

o

Cas paid them a visit that night. He was aware the child had arrived without them telling him, as an angel he could already sense the new life. Her energy was strong - she seemed very healthy despite all the odds against her. Even the angel was surprised as he looked at Quinn for the first time. She was beautiful, tiny, and astoundingly...normal.

"She's beautiful." He murmured sincerely, smiling at the man standing next to him. Dean looked a little worn out still, but that was to be expected.

"Thanks."

"Her name?"

"Oh, uh, Quinn. We thought about using mom's name but..." Dean's eyes darkened slightly, before he smirked. "Too painful, I guess. She's been gone a long time, you know." His tone was casual, attempting to cover the sadness that welled inside him.

"She died when you were four, correct?"

"Yeah."

Cas looked at the squirming infant, fascinated by how tiny she was. Humans were so frail as newborns, he thought idly. A hand subconsciously moved to smooth her hair, before stilling at he looked at the other man.

"It's okay." Dean shrugged, noticing the uncertain look. "I'm not gonna be one of those parents who freaks out if someone holds their kid without asking. I'm not that germaphobic."

"She's so fragile, Dean. You'd be right to be overly concerned." The angel insisted. "Besides, humans are subject to so many diseases. And what about allergies?"

Dean froze at that, having never considered those things deeply enough. True, people could pass illnesses to her. And just because he and Sam had no food allergies, didn't mean she wasn't susceptible to it. Again, he was uncertain how good a 'mother' he could possibly be. Maybe he was being too casual, maybe he didn't have any maternal instincts whatsoever. It made him worry that perhaps she needed a female figure in her life.

"I'm sure it'll be fine." Cas' calm voice made him glance up curiously, it was as though he'd read his mind. Probably had. "People make mistakes all the time. You and Sam aren't any different. You'll learn."

Dean smirked. "Yeah, thanks...so, you wanna hold her?"

The angel looked panicked for a split second, shaking his head. "No, she's much too small I'm afraid."

The other man nearly laughed, picking her up. "It's cool, just hold her like this."

Cas' eyes grew wide. The last time he'd seen him look that worried, was when he took him to that strip club a few years ago. He placed the baby in his arms, watching as the dark-haired male awkwardly adjusted her before bringing her closer to his chest. Quinn slept peacefully, suckling on a pacifier. Dean gave him a real smile this time, crossing his arms.

"See? Simple."

"She really is beautiful." Cas observed, smiling.

"Thanks. I gotta say, I was surprised at how healthy she was. Grace told me she was healthy, but I still had my doubts. I wasn't sure what to really expect...considering Sam and I...uh, you know." Dean looked uncomfortable, shifting on his feet. "Ugh, poor kid."

Cas nodded. "Yes, well, she's blessed. The spell protected her. And considering you two are her fathers, it seems she always will be."

Sitting on the couch, he grinned crookedly. "Yeah, and she's got an angel watching over her too. Sounds corny as hell, though."

"I'm proud of you two." The angel suddenly blurted, not even sure himself where that came from.

Dean's eyes widened slightly. "Thanks man, but there's nothing to be pro-!"

"Considering your lives are far from the norm, and the...spell, I think you've done well so far. So, yes, I'm proud."

Dean swallowed the strange lump that had formed in his throat, managing a weak smile to cover up the misting in his eyes. He was pretty sure it didn't work. "Whatever. Thanks though."

o

As they ate their dinner in silence later that night, something felt off. It was too quiet in the apartment. The baby wasn't very fussy. Dean kept listening to the baby monitor, checking on her every so often. Quinn squinted up at him, her eyes barely open and sleepy. He felt compelled to pick her up again, and attributed it to some instinctual need to have her close.

Laying down on the couch, he let her sleep on his chest. It was peaceful for about thirty minutes before he felt eyes on him. Jolting out of his relaxed state, Dean glared at the man before him. Gripping the infant closer, he sat up and protectively held her, shielding Quinn from sight.

"What do we have here?" Crowley asked.

Sam came back into the room, knife at the ready. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"It's been awhile." He shrugged. "I can see that you've been hiding something precious to you, Dean. She's beautiful."

Dean's face fell from confusion. He knew demons could sense things, but damn he was good. "I don't know what you want, but I'm warning you—!"

"Settle down." Crowley said as if they'd been arguing for hours, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I was originally going to kill you once I found out what it is you've been hiding. I never would have guessed you would birth a child, Dean. Now I've seen everything and I've been alive a very long time."

"So what's your point?" He asked tiredly. "You gonna kill us or not?"

"Dean." Sam looked over at him worriedly, before glaring over at the demon when he stepped forward.

"Relax, I'm not going to do anything. I can see now that you're very serious about quitting. Congrats, by the way." Crowley almost sounded bored.

He would've been more surprised that the two were together and now had a child, from what he could sense, but he was a demon and had admittedly seen worse things than this. It was still unusual though but he let it slide. The boys had always been close even when they argued and fell out, so it wasn't all that shocking.

"So, go." Sam warned in a low voice. "Leave us."

Crowley smirked. "Good luck, you two. Because even if I'm not going to pull you back into the life, something else will. I guarantee you that much."

He disappeared, leaving them feeling uneasy.

Dean sighed, rubbing Quinn's back when she began fussing. "You think he's right? What if we screw this up?"

"We gotta hope for the best, prepare for the worst."

Dean glared at him. "I don't want Quinn to ever know what hunting means, what goes bump in the night. I want her to have a regular life, unlike us."

Sam looked at him understandingly. The last time Dean had been this adamant about kids not being involved in hunting, was when they ended up meeting a girl named Krissy Chambers.

"Me too." He finally answered, nodding. "But we have to be realistic. Crowley's right. Eventually, something—!"

"You don't know that. We've quit for almost a year now. We just gotta keep it that way." Dean interrupted, frowning when she began crying loudly.

Sam remained silent, unsure of what to say.

"Look Sammy, I know you've always wanted this life. I know things haven't always been rainbows and sunshine in the past. We had a weird, tough childhood and I took care of you and dad the best I could. I'm sorry I was so…stubborn in the past, but I was just doing what I was taught. What I thought was right."

"I know, Dean. You don't need to explain, I forgive you."

He looked caught off guard, blinking several times. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Hm…" He smiled, about to say something to offset the sentimentality, but instead he looked down at their daughter contentedly. "I just want what's best for her."

"I do too."

They ended up sitting next to each on the couch, kissing briefly before they attempted to calm the wailing child in Dean's arms. They weren't sure how this would work still, but they were determined to try. Sleepless nights, dirty diapers, and fussy babies sounded more appealing right now than the things they'd gone through before up until recently.

It was uncertain, the future always was. Yet, they weren't afraid. They'd take it day by day, just like their old life.


	10. Chapter 10

Dean pulled up in front of the school and looked out the window. He then glanced behind him where their eight-month old baby slept sucking on a pacifier.

"Ready to see your sister, Josie?" He asked gruffly.

Of course there was no reply.

He grabbed her gingerly as to not jostle her too much, setting the sleeping girl on his shoulder as he walked to the front of the school. The teacher was waiting for him with Quinn by her side.

"Sorry I'm late. Work got crazy and the babysitter—! Nevermind, it's not that important." He smiled nervously.

"It's alright, but is there anyone else who could pick her up?"

"Not really, no." He replied. Sam worked long hours, so that wasn't an option.

He idly realized they needed to make more friends. Over the years, they'd gotten so used to losing them. It was time to start making some connections, he thought. It was always nice to know other people outside of family, especially if there was an emergency or something along those lines.

"Daddy, I made a picture!" Quinn exclaimed, holding it up for him to see.

"I see. It's nice." He ruffled the top of her head, making her groan and bat his hands away as she attempted to smooth down her hair again. It had gotten long and was still blonde. Her eyes had turned green like his and she even inherited his freckles. She looked like his female twin. There was no trace of Sam there at all, whereas Josie seemed more of a good mix of both.

"Sorry about this, I promise it won't happen again." He told the teacher, grabbing her hand and leading her to the car.

He got her buckled into her carseat, smiling when she began chattering away about all the things she did in class. She was in kindergarten and would already be in first grade the following year. Dean couldn't believe how quickly she was growing. He know knew what parents meant when they lamented that kids grew up way too fast. Next thing he knew, Quinn would be asking for his car keys and dating.

"You want ice cream?" He asked.

"Yay! I want sprinkles!" She clapped enthusiastically, smiling from ear to ear.

"Chill out. We're not even there yet." He muttered amusedly, glancing at her in the rearview mirror.

Quinn giggled, kicking her feet excitedly as she returned his smile. Josie began whimpering, but soon nodded back off.

Dean looked at his girls again as he drove off. Originally, Quinn was supposed to be an only child. The spell had lasting effects though and although they'd used protection, Josie was born eventually about four years later.

Now that she was here, they were more careful than ever. Currently, he was looking into a way to officially break the spell. There was always a way, despite their failed attempts so far.

o

Dean held Josie in one arm, Quinn in the other as he went into the ice cream store. The baby looked uncertainly at her strange, new surroundings before she laid her head onto his shoulder. He held his oldest up, showing her the different flavors.

"I want vanilla with sprinkles." She said loudly.

"What do you say to him?"

"Please?"

The employee smiled at the girl, handing her the cup moments later. "Is that all?"

"Yes, thanks."

o

Sam looked up when they came in near dinnertime. Dean was surprised to see him home this early. On cue, he commented exactly what he was thinking.

"I know." The younger man nodded, "But the case I'm working on has gotten complicated. We decided to call it a day and look into more evidence tomorrow."

Dean didn't know the daily routine of lawyers, so didn't comment further. Instead, he sat down and set Josie in his lap. The baby cooed, clapping her hands as she tried to fold in half. He gently lifted her up, cradling her in one arm as he bounced her slightly. She found it amusing, squealing as he did so.

"What is it?" He asked when he saw Sam's warm smile.

"Nothing, just looking at pictures of the girls when they were tiny. I'm glad we took more pictures and recorded the birth the second time around. They're nice memories." He shrugged.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, I barely took photos when I was pregnant with Quinn since I was freaked out, you know, since guys don't usually get knocked up." He sounded extremely sarcastic as he gave him a mirthless look.

Sam could only laugh, completely understanding. With Josie, it'd been different. There were way more maternity shots, although Quinn had more newborn pictures.

"Hey, here's her birth video." Sam noticed. "You saved it?"

"What? You said you were glad we had it."

"I just assumed you wouldn't want any evidence."

Dean rolled his eyes heavily. "Ha, funny. Almost forgot to laugh at that, Sam."

He walked over anyway with the baby in his arms, peering at the screen. It showed him in Grace's office, pushing down hard as he laid on the hospital bed. They had made it there thankfully the second time around, but barely. Like her sister, she had also arrived pretty fast.

"Push, a little longer this time." He heard her calm voice instruct.

Dean watched as the doctor caught the baby's shoulders, twisting them and with a loud cry of pain followed by a deep moan, she was born into waiting hands.

"Seems like yesterday." He murmured, frowning. "Hard to believe she'll be one in July."

"I know, right?"

"You're growing up too fast. Stay small." Dean told Josie, smirking when all she did was stare at him with wide, hazel eyes. She looked shocked. Eventually, the girl cooed and tried to wriggle out of his grip.

"Tummy time, then? C'mon." The older man set her on a playmat, watching as she crawled forward on it. Josie instantly calmed down, beaming up at him. He smiled back at her, gently rubbing her back as he stood and walked over to the table.

"Huh." Sam looked impressed.

"What?"

"I'll never get over how surprisingly good you are with kids."

"Uh, Sam, I helped take care of you. Remember?"

"…yeah, but still."

"Well, thanks anyway. I guess I'm good with them, I try."

"No, you're great. Better than me. My patience isn't as good as I thought."

"Hey, you're doing okay to me."

"Thanks, Dean. You, um, wanna get some take-out?"

"Let's just order a pizza. I don't feel like going back out."

Sam nodded, enjoying this domestic peace momentarily before he replied, "Sure. Sounds nice. I'll pay."

"I got it." Dean insisted.

o

As they sat on the couch eating pizza, Sam still couldn't believe even now how content he felt. The instincts and edginess from hunting had never quite left, for either of them. Dean still slept with a gun nearby, a knife at the ready too just in case something happened.

"Should I check on Joss?" That was their nickname for her.

"Sure, if you want." Dean replied, covering his mouth as he took a huge bite. "She's fine though. I changed her diaper and fed her before we sat down."

"I can't hear." Quinn piped in, looking over at them sourly.

Dean grinned. "Sorry, Quinn. But adults are talking, okay? You don't interrupt adult conversation unless it's important. We'll be quiet though."

"But the movie is important, daddy!" She protested, gesturing to the t.v.

"Okay, okay. Settle down." He rubbed her back affectionately, finishing off the slice in his hand with a satisfied gaze.

"I'll be right back." Sam told him.

He didn't miss the paternal, loving stare Dean gave Quinn as he walked out, filling him again with that same sense of contentedness. Checking in on the sleeping infant, he stared at her nursery for a long time and swallowed heavily. He was glad his kids wouldn't have to experience what they did. Looking at the ceiling wryly, he scoffed and closed the door quietly.

Sitting back down next to his brother, he wrapped an arm around him and pressed a kiss to his temple.

"You two want anything else? More soda? Pizza?"

"I'm good."

"No, thanks Papa!" Quinn shook her head, grinning over at him widely. "Oh! Wait, this is the bestest part."

"Okay, I'm watching." Dean told her with an amused glint in his eyes.

Sam turned his focus to the screen too. It hadn't been an easy road but they had managed to find solace, something that hunters like them rarely found.


End file.
